I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome. What you're going through sounds pretty much exactly what I went through too.
A couple of years ago, I got food poisoning from a chinese restaurant and got sick on the road in my car, while I was on a date with my boyfriend. I was horribly embarrassed and traumatized about it, and it caused me to have intense anxiety about not finding a bathroom when I needed it.
So, after taking tons of Immodium and talking to a psychotherapist (who's helped me so much on how to deal with anxiety) I have a semi normal life. I'm a 22 college senior, and sometimes it's hard to go to class and be out and about, but I try not to think about it. If I freak out about going to the bathroom, I just tell myself that "Everyone goes to the bathroom, it isn't a big deal."
So after having a colonoscopy, I was diagnosed with IBS and have been on 1/2 a tablet of Zelnorm in the morning and night. It's helped alot. Sorry I couldn't be more help, I just wanted to let you know that I've been there *hug*