Quote from pixiepie31:

hi everyone. heres my situation my beautiful boyfriend has been on methadone now for about 4 months (80 mg) and i'm so proud of his progress. its so much nicer than when he had a 500 dollar a week heroin habbit. i'm struggling though with all the sexual side effects. he can't seem to get an erection and when he does he can't keep it. i would much rather he be on the methadone than ever go back to heroin. and honestly there wasn't any sex when he was doing that. but i'm really starting to suffer form some some self esteem issues myself. i can't help feeling if i was thinner or blonder or had bigger breasts....something more to strike his intrest...oh GOD I DON'T KNOW. it's eating me up inside. it's affecting our relationship and in the end i just feel guilty for wanting to just have some sense of normalcy when it comes to sex with him. it's gotten to the point that when he touches me i want just to pull away because honestly i don't think i can deal with the rejection i feel when it doesnt work. i love him dearly i want to see him do well. so how do i retain my self esteemand let him do whats best for him?

Pixiepie31,

First of all, I can identify firsthand with his lack of interest in sex. Trust me, its not you. Opiates shut down our own endogenous opioids (endorphins, enkephalins), which are normally released in tremendous bursts during sex and especially during the orgasm process, this euphoric natural bodily response to sex is nature's way of ensuring that people, and other animals continue to procreate. Now, when one's own endogenous reward system is shut down, as a result of abusing opiates, then having sex simply doesn't feel that good anymore, which therefore explains his lack of motivation. Viagra should help with the erections tremendously, but really won't do much for his desire, so as long as he's using methadone. Besides Viagra, another pharmaceutical option would be for him to go on the anti-depressant wellbutrin, as this increases dopamine levels in the brain and thus also increases sexual motivation.

The most effective thing to remedy the situation would be for him to eventually taper down and finally get off the methadone altogether, but I realize that's easier said then done, especially with a recovering hardcore heroin addict. And even if he does make the decision to eventually taper off, it will be a long and somewhat discomforting process for him, which could also affect your relationship (overall) with him. In which case, you would need to have the patience and understanding to stick by him through this whole process (which is also easier said then done). If he can successfully do this, with your love and support, then eventually his own endogenous opioid reward system will kick back in and his sex drive should pick back up and be back to pre using levels, if not even higher. I know that mine is!!

Also, just to cover all the bases, as someone else suggested, he should have his own testosterone levels checked, if his are low, then that would also tremendously lower his interest in sex, and overall energy level as well. I'm only 36, and when I was using, my doctor checked mine, and my level was only 47! Normal range is 300-1000. Opioids will affect a male's testosterone levels, to at least some extent, however, I have to admit that I did use anabolic steroid drugs off and on during the last few years that I was serious about my bodybuilding, and this may have shut down my ability to produce testosterone permanently! So, for now, I am taking androgel daily, which is a testosterone gel that one rubs onto their arms, stomach, or shoulders, and is quickly absorbed into the body and quickly restores testosterone levels back into the normal range. It also affects your energy level too, even when I was using. I noticed an increase in energy, sex drive, and overall motivation when I started using the gel. However, the fact remains that eventually getting off the methadone, would be the most effective solution for your particular situation. Take care.

I absolutely agree with all the post regarding Methadone and sex drive. My ex-boyfriend was on Methadone and no sex for over a year and a half. I too felt exactly like you. His testosterone levels were normal. His doctor tried Viagra also. It didn't work to begin with but eventually it did work. Also in my opinion Methadone should be used to wean folks off meds. Not to be taken for years and years. However, it is very addictive and hard to get off. It is a bugger to detox from. One thing that works for some couples is to discuss having intimacy without sex. We need that touching, kissing, holding each other and being made feel special. Agree that there will be no expectations of sex, just snuggling and being close. Work from there. It's just as frustrating for your mate. I'm sure he has guilty feelings, which can lead to major issues/using again. It is very important to lovingly discuss the feelings caused by this problem. There is also a new med out there like Viagra, talk to the doctor about what's out there.

I'm on methadone and am up to 150... When your are an ex heroine addict that high of dosage douesnt make you "fall asleep while standing up" thats not what the methadone clinic intends.. they are trying to find a maintnece dosage.. as far as sex drive yes.. it sucks.. Me and my boyfriend our on the methadone togeather and it really sucks because I still have sex drive (infact it seems at time methadone makes me have more of a sex drive then normal) And yes indeed I have becamse self concious to! allso its a common thing for people on methadone to gain weight.. This is something I'm struggleing with. Because I get so constipated my stomach douesnt digest normally and makes it harder to loose weight. but I communicate with him and It has nouthing to do with me even though its easy to tell myself that.. If you are young like am.. Woman have needs! the only way I can get my boyfriend to have an irection is by oral sex... I dont meen to be to detailed .. just being honest.. its frustrating though its the down side of methadone because we uest to have the most natural bueiatfull sex... You know now its all technicall... I hate it. when we have sex he is so worried about ceeping it up he hardly pays attention to me. so yes I would reccomend asking him what he thinks about viagra.. Me and my boyfriend dont have inssurance and I dont think he would up for it..
-Missing the sexual healing as weel :confused:
cheryl

His Dr's office can give him samples of viagra have him talk to his DR I worked at a Dr's office for years and I got the viagra it worked but I knew there was something else wrong.

Thanks for the information. Do you think that he should talk to the doctor at the clinic, or our family physician? I have tried to research why this happens, and what we can do to help. We've talked about it, and I think it just being out in the open has helped me mentally. This is still tough, but at least it is not some terrible secret that is being kept. We know that the ultimate answer to all this is to eventually come off the methadone. But it is not time right now. We are just dealing with what all this addiction has handed us. If the testosterone levels are low, will they prescribe something? In my mind, the gel seems to make more sense. Viagra would just be a temporary fix. Or I guess what I am thinking is that no matter what the Viagra makes your body do....if there is still no desire...what is the point. I would think the gel would actually make the desire come back. I guess I'm really talking about something that we need to research more. I'm just afraid that they may write this off as "just part of it". He wants to make this part of his life better. Our love for each other is stronger than ever. This is just a part of our lives that we had never foreseen as having trouble.

Yes I know what your saying the Viagra didnt always work and he would roll over and just feel like he wasnt a man. I felt so bad for him finally I demanded that he get bloodwork done his regular Dr or even the clinic Dr could send him for bloodwork. The results that came back were bad he like no testosterone in his body which is why no matter how hard he tried nothing worked. Kept uping his man gel to the right dosage and things are slowly coming back. Its still hard though I dont mention it cause I dont want to be rejected like before even though it wasnt his fault I felt rejected and he doesnt know how to initiate it. Were getting there its getting better!!!

Well keep me posted I hope it is something as simple at that!!!! Wont that be great. If they try to send him out with just some samples of viagra to see if that works first make sure he tells them he wants the bloodwork done too. We went through this for a whole year before his Dr did a blood test and actually found the problem.