Hello,
I have read back through all of your posts.. I know you don't feel it now, but you are very strong and doing a great job. The kid thing, I know completely what you mean. I have an 8 yr old that's been through it with me and a 1 yr old... And sometimes I snap at them and spend the rest of the night feeling so rotten for it. So as I tell myself, try not to feel bad about it. No one truly knows how you are feeling at this moment but you.. we mostly know, because we are going through it or have been through it before.. me, I'm coming off of suboxone, but have been taking Ultram mostly because of fear.. fear of the withdrawals when I know I have a family to take care of...
And it makes no sense!! When you're on the pain meds, you feel like superwoman.. take care of your kids, your husband for the most part.. and clean like nothing else. LOL
I have to stop taking the Ultram now.. and I'm terrified. Every morning when I wake up my stomach is in literally knots, I'm losing weight because I have no appetite for anything...which sucks.. But I'm hanging in there, along with you.. do you know why?? Because it's what we have to do.. it's as simple as that.. we can't just quit and give up. It's not an option. So we take it hour by hour. Literally.. Hang in there.. I'm trying..

Thoughts and prayers,
g8trgrl

aww..ty. It's nice to know I'm not the only hoopin and hollerin at kids. I try not too, but I also can't let them run me over during my time of weakness. That's just setting this family up for more probs. I was feeling really depressed today. Not sure why, it's prob a combination of things. I told my husband and let him know that I really needed to get out of the house. I didn't care what we did, I just needed out. So, we rode about 20-25 miles on the fourwheeler. It was nice to get out and get some fresh air and smell the honeysuckle. When you live in the country like we do it's a nice luxury. But you also get bombarded with bugs so now I have to take a shower. I sure the people at church will appreciate it anyway. g8tr, you can get off the ultram. I know you can. I got off the opiates with one weekend in the hospital and haven't looked back. I might when I get the bill of course.....just kidding....but I know you can do it. WE can do this!