9th October 2004
Hi there!!!
Wow, I really could see a LOT of myself in your post. I wish so much I could say something to make you feel better, or to take away the pain of going through withdrawals, etc...but I'm still not "there" yet myself. All I can do is offer you support, and let you know that I am here for you ALWAYS. I've found this forum to be full of genuine, loving, caring, supportive people...and regardless of what stage in your addiction you are in, they are all here to help you. I must say though, you are one EXTREMELY brave person for going to your doctor. I have to agree with one of the previous posters though...you might want to consider seeing a doctor that specializes in addictions. There are many different alternatives to treatment as well...inpatient, outpatient, weekly counceling sessions, etc. I know that where I live they have a facility that is part of the University...they have resident doctors who see you and evaluate you, then come up with a plan of sorts to either help you with your detox, or..if you've already detoxed, they will see you weekly for counceling, most of them prescribe anti-depressant meds, blood pressure meds if you need them, etc....they are extremely helpful and seem to take more time with their patients than most established doctors (I actually saw a particular woman here about 2 yrs. ago.....first to discuss past addiction issues, counceling for depression, she prescribed meds for the depression and anxiety issues, and then later when I started abusing the pain pills..I was completely open and honest with her..she helped me through that then as well.....I did stop seeing her, and that is probably why I'm right back in the same boat now).
I have many, many medical issues I'm dealing with right now...so I'm on pain killers for that, but I still abuse them too. My doctor doesn't know this. My husband trys to do exactly what your husband is doing...he keeps my pills and I have to ASK for them anytime I want/need them. I get lectured, yelled at, etc. constantly for wanting more than I'm prescribed. When he leaves for work, he actually hides the amount that I need for the day..and I have to call him when the time comes to take them, so he can tell me where to find them. Of course, I've torn this house upside down a few times looking for them myself! ;) So, I can COMPLETELY relate to feeling as if you are being treated like a child...I feel like that each and every day. I guess it's because I need to be treated that way, I don't know.
You are right in that you really are not on too high of a dosage, so your withdrawals shouldn't be TOO bad. I might have missed it, but how long have you been taking the pills? The longest length of time I've taken these pills was for 4 months....and even in that short amount of time, I wanted to die during withdrawals. Of course, I was taking 10-15 pills a day (and I take the Norco 10/325's). I did find several things that helped with the withdrawals though....I had a few samples of Ultracet (and I've heard awful things about this drug, so be careful if you ever do use it!!!!!! I took only 2 of them on the first day of W/D's, and 1 on the 2nd day), I used Immodium for the diarrhea, lots of warm baths, benadryl for sleep, and I am prescribed klonopin for anxiety anyway...so I believe that it helped a lot too. Oh, and probably the most important...instead of the clonodine, I take propranolol (which is a beta-blocker and basically the exact same thing as clonodine)20mgs./4 times a day anyway for a rapid heartrate and BP issues (due to a chronic health condition I have)...so that helped a ton (and I actually had to increase the dose to double of what I normally take!).
Anyway, I turned this into a novel (I'm good at doing that...you'll see for yourself! haha!), but please know that I do care, and I hope and pray that you will stick around and share with us often, and lean on us as much as you need to. I'll keep you in my prayers as well. Please keep us updated on your situation, and know that you are definitely NOT alone in this!!!!!!!
Wow, I really could see a LOT of myself in your post. I wish so much I could say something to make you feel better, or to take away the pain of going through withdrawals, etc...but I'm still not "there" yet myself. All I can do is offer you support, and let you know that I am here for you ALWAYS. I've found this forum to be full of genuine, loving, caring, supportive people...and regardless of what stage in your addiction you are in, they are all here to help you. I must say though, you are one EXTREMELY brave person for going to your doctor. I have to agree with one of the previous posters though...you might want to consider seeing a doctor that specializes in addictions. There are many different alternatives to treatment as well...inpatient, outpatient, weekly counceling sessions, etc. I know that where I live they have a facility that is part of the University...they have resident doctors who see you and evaluate you, then come up with a plan of sorts to either help you with your detox, or..if you've already detoxed, they will see you weekly for counceling, most of them prescribe anti-depressant meds, blood pressure meds if you need them, etc....they are extremely helpful and seem to take more time with their patients than most established doctors (I actually saw a particular woman here about 2 yrs. ago.....first to discuss past addiction issues, counceling for depression, she prescribed meds for the depression and anxiety issues, and then later when I started abusing the pain pills..I was completely open and honest with her..she helped me through that then as well.....I did stop seeing her, and that is probably why I'm right back in the same boat now).
I have many, many medical issues I'm dealing with right now...so I'm on pain killers for that, but I still abuse them too. My doctor doesn't know this. My husband trys to do exactly what your husband is doing...he keeps my pills and I have to ASK for them anytime I want/need them. I get lectured, yelled at, etc. constantly for wanting more than I'm prescribed. When he leaves for work, he actually hides the amount that I need for the day..and I have to call him when the time comes to take them, so he can tell me where to find them. Of course, I've torn this house upside down a few times looking for them myself! ;) So, I can COMPLETELY relate to feeling as if you are being treated like a child...I feel like that each and every day. I guess it's because I need to be treated that way, I don't know.
You are right in that you really are not on too high of a dosage, so your withdrawals shouldn't be TOO bad. I might have missed it, but how long have you been taking the pills? The longest length of time I've taken these pills was for 4 months....and even in that short amount of time, I wanted to die during withdrawals. Of course, I was taking 10-15 pills a day (and I take the Norco 10/325's). I did find several things that helped with the withdrawals though....I had a few samples of Ultracet (and I've heard awful things about this drug, so be careful if you ever do use it!!!!!! I took only 2 of them on the first day of W/D's, and 1 on the 2nd day), I used Immodium for the diarrhea, lots of warm baths, benadryl for sleep, and I am prescribed klonopin for anxiety anyway...so I believe that it helped a lot too. Oh, and probably the most important...instead of the clonodine, I take propranolol (which is a beta-blocker and basically the exact same thing as clonodine)20mgs./4 times a day anyway for a rapid heartrate and BP issues (due to a chronic health condition I have)...so that helped a ton (and I actually had to increase the dose to double of what I normally take!).
Anyway, I turned this into a novel (I'm good at doing that...you'll see for yourself! haha!), but please know that I do care, and I hope and pray that you will stick around and share with us often, and lean on us as much as you need to. I'll keep you in my prayers as well. Please keep us updated on your situation, and know that you are definitely NOT alone in this!!!!!!!