I have been self medicating with morphine for a very large fibroid tumor for 3 months. About 200 mgs a day. And of course, I like the buzz.

I tried to go the legal route but where I live that is literally impossible. After 3 months, I finally got a referral to pain doctor. Who doesn't have to take me as a patient and probably won't according to my gyn because I can be cured by a simple hysterctomy.

So why don't I just have the hysterctomy. Because I also have colon bleeding and my GI doc says that we need to deal with that right away. So I'm scheduled for a virtual colonoscopy on the 18th.

Why all this time? Because it takes a minimum of three weeks to get a doctor's appt. And I've just been going from one to the other and hearing one thing and then another. Of course, they would not prescribe narcotics in the meantime.

I'm sure this isn't making any sense. It has been three days since I took any morphine. I am really sick.

The GI doc gave me some samples of ultracet for the pain but I refuse to take it. Not even if it makes me feel better. He doesn't know about the morphine and was just trying to help me painwise.

I'm drinking Immodium A/D like it's water.

Will I ever sleep again?

I was also addicted to benzos and tapered off them and it was NOTHING compared to this.

Any advice. Will it start getting better soon. I can't eat either.

Brenda1953

PS Sorry, I know someone else already has this name but I can't think so couldn't come up with anything else.