I just found this site by accident-actually I was looking up resources for one of my clients. I am a mental health therapist-masters level....and have been hiding an addiction to opiates for far TOO long. You would think I obviously would know better but it has gotten the best of me and it is so hard to come back. The only drug I use (and I say this not to diminish my use but to show how my focus as been directed completly on getting this one particular prescription) is Tussionex ( a cough suryp with vicodin in it-not even the vicodin pills are enough...they give me a headache). this is a timed release-although I dont believe that the hydrocodone is timed released-just the other ingrediants (as I am unaware of a timed release hydrocodone pill)....anyway i had 8 months clean in 2005 and then about 5 months in 2006-but then at the end of March of this year I began using again-and it has been continuous with only a couple of days in between when I TRY withdrawl but as soon as I am uncomfortable I use. When I had gotten 8 months sober I had been using for 3 yrs prior-and then i would use any kind of vicodin or codeine (syrup or pill)...and now it is just that one medication that I seem to preseverate on. Whatever the case I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I am ready to quit and I thought maybe writing on here might help. I dont do meetings very well due to seeing patients and it is uncomfortable for both of us....unless I go out of town. More than anything I just need a place to vent and to maybe get some responses. The most I have used is 1.7 ounces in a day. The 8oz bottle should last 24 dyas and it last me about 5. It seems like sooo much to me but I have read on here that people have taken 4 ounces a day-I cant tolerate more than what I currently take. Anyway I am heading towards withdrawls again and wanted to get something posted before I am in that really bad place. It is almost worse to detox the second time becasue you KNOW what is coming. I am Rx'd xanax for major anxiety and rarely have to take it (it does nothing for me unless i am in a panic then it will calm me down...but definatly not a drug of choice)....I know from my work that I should just take the xanax as rx'd (3x's a day and that it will cut down on the withdrawls but I also know there will be something left. I also understand I need to go through it to remember why i dont want to use. However it is starting to effect my relationship of 7yrs (he has no idea I am using again or he would leave) as well as our finances and my moods/overall self esteem..this stuff is crazy and they shouldnt rx it for any reason.
Hopefully i wil hear something back from anyone! :)

[QUOTE=michele75;3207017]I just found this site by accident-actually I was looking up resources for one of my clients. I am a mental health therapist-masters level....and have been hiding an addiction to opiates for far TOO long. You would think I obviously would know better but it has gotten the best of me and it is so hard to come back. The only drug I use (and I say this not to diminish my use but to show how my focus as been directed completly on getting this one particular prescription) is Tussionex ( a cough suryp with vicodin in it-not even the vicodin pills are enough...they give me a headache). this is a timed release-although I dont believe that the hydrocodone is timed released-just the other ingrediants (as I am unaware of a timed release hydrocodone pill)....anyway i had 8 months clean in 2005 and then about 5 months in 2006-but then at the end of March of this year I began using again-and it has been continuous with only a couple of days in between when I TRY withdrawl but as soon as I am uncomfortable I use. When I had gotten 8 months sober I had been using for 3 yrs prior-and then i would use any kind of vicodin or codeine (syrup or pill)...and now it is just that one medication that I seem to preseverate on. Whatever the case I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I am ready to quit and I thought maybe writing on here might help. I dont do meetings very well due to seeing patients and it is uncomfortable for both of us....unless I go out of town. More than anything I just need a place to vent and to maybe get some responses. The most I have used is 1.7 ounces in a day. The 8oz bottle should last 24 dyas and it last me about 5. It seems like sooo much to me but I have read on here that people have taken 4 ounces a day-I cant tolerate more than what I currently take. Anyway I am heading towards withdrawls again and wanted to get something posted before I am in that really bad place. It is almost worse to detox the second time becasue you KNOW what is coming. I am Rx'd xanax for major anxiety and rarely have to take it (it does nothing for me unless i am in a panic then it will calm me down...but definatly not a drug of choice)....I know from my work that I should just take the xanax as rx'd (3x's a day and that it will cut down on the withdrawls but I also know there will be something left. I also understand I need to go through it to remember why i dont want to use. However it is starting to effect my relationship of 7yrs (he has no idea I am using again or he would leave) as well as our finances and my moods/overall self esteem..this stuff is crazy and they shouldnt rx it for any reason.
Hopefully i wil hear something back from anyone! :)

Hey,
I think this place is a great place for you to be. Please keep on posting and please open a new thread, so that more people will be able to read your problems, because it may be overlooked here.
I am depressed and tired today, so i do not know what else to write, but please keep on posting.