Sandman, your story is so similar to mine, it is scary. I just came clean with my doctor, my wife and my best friend, and I will tell, that despite what you may think they do not know, they all know. We fool ourselves thinking we can hide this addiction. Our behavior is erradic and everyone notices except us. Sounds like you have been through this before, so do it once and for all. I, too, looked at some pictures, and miss those days, and am with you in terms of timing on this withdrawal (mine started last Tuesday). Let's do this together. Head to your doctor and get some clonidine (.1 mg 3x/day for the aches and sweats) and trazodone, which will help you sleep, and trick your brain to ignore pain. Good luck.