6th February 2006
thank you. no problem. ask anything you want. yes, dad was on medications...theophylline (breathing pills) and inhalers....of which he never used, and nebulizer treatments 4 times a day. as i said, he was diagnosed in dec 99....they put him oxygen in july 2004....2 liters. the will not put him on oxygen until his oxygen level goes below 92. so, that may be a ways off...cause as i said, in the beginning, dad had 36% lung function....it took him 4 years to get to 21% ...which is when they put him on oxygen.
i really dont know if he is trying to get attention or what the case may be....but I want to say something on that. my mother was in denial about dads illness..because "he didnt seem sick, didnt act sick....and anytime he wanted to fuss....he had the breath to do it".....but whenever he needed something....a drink, something to eat, etc....he expected mom to do it, because he didnt have the energy or breath. dad basically gave in to the illness from day one....he refused to walk and exercise, he mostly just layed around. BUT...you have to understand....when you think about it....it makes sense. when you cant breathe, it puts stress on your heart, therefore, your heart is having to work harder, which in turn causes you to be weak. it is one very vicious cycle. thats what we couldnt get mom to understand. i will never forget....one day mom was complaining about how she was tired of dad wanting to be babied....and i told her..."mom, he is a sick man, he just doesnt feel good"...wanna know her reply???? "Rita, he's JUST got emphysema!!!! why are you kids acting like he is dying????"...like it was nothing no worse than a cold!!! So, at that point, I gave up trying to get her to understand that this is an illness that there is no cure for...that it WILL take dad from us one day. well...the last time he was in the hospital...i knew he wasnt coming home...but mom???....she was trying to prepare space in her home to put a bed, thinking he will come home and be bedridden...she just wouldnt hear my words. So, the day dad died.....it hit her real hard....regretting that she didnt pay attention to us about how serious this illness is, and that she made dad feel that he was a burden to her.....which she did, and it made me angry...she would voice her feelings...how tired she is of doing for him, when he should be doing for himself, she was tired of feeling that she could not get out of the house and just spending the day doing whatever she wanted,..just constant remarks making dad feel he was a burden.
depression?? of course learning about his illness took its toll on dad....he wasnt the "man" he used to be....he lost all independance....except his ability to drive...he wasnt able to go walking to yap with neighbors, scared to go too far from the house, etc......so it caused him to go into a depression. the doctors knew it, and kept prescribing him ani-depressants...but dad always found something wrong with them and didnt take them. well..everytime us kids got around dad, it would take nothing to make him cry....i kept telling mom that dad was depressed.....her answer???? "he is not depressed....he is just seeking attention and sympathy from you kids, because he only does this when you kids come around!"..........well....this went on for a couple of years....until finally.........the moment came where he had went too far without help.......dad attempted suicide. Luckily, I was there when it happened. He took ALL of his heart medication, and 2 handfuls of his theophylline. I called 911 as soon as I saw him pop the first round of meds in his mouth........and saved his life. BUT....before he took them, he had them in his hands, threatening to take them, and I FOUGHT with him, struggling like all heck to get them out of his hands........mom looked at me and told me to "back off....leave him alone before you hurt him, he is just testing us, he aint really going to take those pills, he is just trying to get attention!!!"....so I backed off....went to the other side of the room, pretending to look at the phone book...but instead, was watching dad without him knowing...with the phone in my hand ready to dial 911......and thats when he took the pills.
my point in this is.....be careful....dont assume anything. he just might be serious....he just might be playing on your sympathy...but dont let your guard down and just assume that he isnt really sick. find out more from the doctors...learn what you can....then determine it from there. this is a very serious illness.....at first...dad would only have to go to the hospital once a year, then twice a year....then it went to 4 times a year.....his last year????.......he was in the hospital in july, august, november, december, january, february and then in march.....when he died. each visit was longer and longer. first it would be just a day or two....then 3-4 days, then in the end (last few visits)...it was for 5-8 days at a time, then home for a few days, then back in......so dont really judge the book, until you have read it, ok? it may not seem bad now....but if he really does have emphysema.....it WILL continue to worsen....and most definitely if he continues 40 cigarettes a day.....I think that will make it worse much quicker. dad was a 2-3 pack a day smoker.......then when his breathing got real bad, he went to 1 pack a day........then down to 1/2 pack a day. he did manage to quit 3-4 times...for 6 months each time...but always managed to go back to smoking.
if you have any more questions....feel free to ask.
i really dont know if he is trying to get attention or what the case may be....but I want to say something on that. my mother was in denial about dads illness..because "he didnt seem sick, didnt act sick....and anytime he wanted to fuss....he had the breath to do it".....but whenever he needed something....a drink, something to eat, etc....he expected mom to do it, because he didnt have the energy or breath. dad basically gave in to the illness from day one....he refused to walk and exercise, he mostly just layed around. BUT...you have to understand....when you think about it....it makes sense. when you cant breathe, it puts stress on your heart, therefore, your heart is having to work harder, which in turn causes you to be weak. it is one very vicious cycle. thats what we couldnt get mom to understand. i will never forget....one day mom was complaining about how she was tired of dad wanting to be babied....and i told her..."mom, he is a sick man, he just doesnt feel good"...wanna know her reply???? "Rita, he's JUST got emphysema!!!! why are you kids acting like he is dying????"...like it was nothing no worse than a cold!!! So, at that point, I gave up trying to get her to understand that this is an illness that there is no cure for...that it WILL take dad from us one day. well...the last time he was in the hospital...i knew he wasnt coming home...but mom???....she was trying to prepare space in her home to put a bed, thinking he will come home and be bedridden...she just wouldnt hear my words. So, the day dad died.....it hit her real hard....regretting that she didnt pay attention to us about how serious this illness is, and that she made dad feel that he was a burden to her.....which she did, and it made me angry...she would voice her feelings...how tired she is of doing for him, when he should be doing for himself, she was tired of feeling that she could not get out of the house and just spending the day doing whatever she wanted,..just constant remarks making dad feel he was a burden.
depression?? of course learning about his illness took its toll on dad....he wasnt the "man" he used to be....he lost all independance....except his ability to drive...he wasnt able to go walking to yap with neighbors, scared to go too far from the house, etc......so it caused him to go into a depression. the doctors knew it, and kept prescribing him ani-depressants...but dad always found something wrong with them and didnt take them. well..everytime us kids got around dad, it would take nothing to make him cry....i kept telling mom that dad was depressed.....her answer???? "he is not depressed....he is just seeking attention and sympathy from you kids, because he only does this when you kids come around!"..........well....this went on for a couple of years....until finally.........the moment came where he had went too far without help.......dad attempted suicide. Luckily, I was there when it happened. He took ALL of his heart medication, and 2 handfuls of his theophylline. I called 911 as soon as I saw him pop the first round of meds in his mouth........and saved his life. BUT....before he took them, he had them in his hands, threatening to take them, and I FOUGHT with him, struggling like all heck to get them out of his hands........mom looked at me and told me to "back off....leave him alone before you hurt him, he is just testing us, he aint really going to take those pills, he is just trying to get attention!!!"....so I backed off....went to the other side of the room, pretending to look at the phone book...but instead, was watching dad without him knowing...with the phone in my hand ready to dial 911......and thats when he took the pills.
my point in this is.....be careful....dont assume anything. he just might be serious....he just might be playing on your sympathy...but dont let your guard down and just assume that he isnt really sick. find out more from the doctors...learn what you can....then determine it from there. this is a very serious illness.....at first...dad would only have to go to the hospital once a year, then twice a year....then it went to 4 times a year.....his last year????.......he was in the hospital in july, august, november, december, january, february and then in march.....when he died. each visit was longer and longer. first it would be just a day or two....then 3-4 days, then in the end (last few visits)...it was for 5-8 days at a time, then home for a few days, then back in......so dont really judge the book, until you have read it, ok? it may not seem bad now....but if he really does have emphysema.....it WILL continue to worsen....and most definitely if he continues 40 cigarettes a day.....I think that will make it worse much quicker. dad was a 2-3 pack a day smoker.......then when his breathing got real bad, he went to 1 pack a day........then down to 1/2 pack a day. he did manage to quit 3-4 times...for 6 months each time...but always managed to go back to smoking.
if you have any more questions....feel free to ask.