26th September 2007
Hello everyone! I am newly regisered but have been lurking for a week or so. This seems like a great place for answers and support.
This is my dilema...and I just couldn't be any more frustrated or heartbroken.
I left my BF 4 months ago due to his continued abusiveness. He was telling me to leave and truly acted as if he couldn't stand me. He has been arrested for domestic violence in the past, attending batterers intervention, and on probation which includes being court ordered not to drink.
I thought he was a run of the mill typical abuser and just wasn't changing.
After 5 days he came to me saying that he wanted to see a psychiatrist. He wanted to find out why he was so filled with rage all the time. Can you believe I had no idea?? He cried and begged me to never leave again. We talked about what to do if "it" ever happened again. I don't believe at that time he even knew what "it" was, other than the "monster is his head."
He said please try to sit me down and tell me what an ******* I am being. Just don't leave me. I need you to take care of me.
As I look back I realize he was in a severe manic episode when I had left. He had self-medicated for 3 days while I was gone(regardless of the court order) and his symptoms had been relieved somewhat.
He was trying so hard to win me back and be nice but during the 3 week wait to get into the pdoc he had some very bad moments.
The doctor originally put him on Celexa and Temazepam. Within a few days this guy turned into a completely different person. He was calm, rational, and NON ABUSIVE. I finally had my boyfriend back. It had been a long while. We had a wonderful month and a half. I was incredibly happy. He was happy. Then he had a couple of mild panic attacks. Back to the doctor we went and he was prescribed Clonazepam for anxiety. By the next day he was already showing signs of rage. Out of control driving and road rage and then escalating abuse of myself and his children. I called his pdoc freaking out. His med changed to Divalproex, but the doc continued the Clonazepam. He got even worse. By now he is in denial, completely manic and saying I am the one who is crazy. I called his counselors. They forced him to go back to the doc and his script was changed to Seroquel. No change. Doc doubled it. Still no change. Sinking deeper with paranoid delusions and even hallucinations (he denies). By now I am trying to get someone, anyone to Baker Act (involuntary hospitalization) this guy. I had to call the police during a violent moment. They wouldn't do it. Said he seemed just fine to them. Sure. He was removed for the night. He called me the next morning and said I need you to go to the doc with me today. He was switched yet again, this time Zyprexa. My neighbors asked yesterday if he is on crack cocaine due to his super speed driving, lurking around in the middle of the night, and the crazed look in his eyes. He is completely emotionally detached from me. He is in violation of his probation and blaming me. pdoc doubled his script yesterday. He is running around like a chicken with his head cut off. Making jerky movements. Never seen that before. All the while...doc has continued the Clonazepam despite my repeated requests to stop it. Does anyone else think this drug could have started the mania? He has now been diagnosed cyclomythic. I am not sure I agree. Isn't that a lesser form of bipolar? Can someone tell me if there are delusions and hallucinations involved? Believe me, he is not in a mild state by any means. I would give him a Bipolar 1 rapid cycler. And I am not sure the diagnosis is done there.
In the last month he has gotten 3 speeding tickets, wrecked his car twice, and finally totaled his car from being in a rage. Then proceeded to wreck his rental twice.
pdoc says he doesn't see a need for a hospitalization. WHAT? How bad do they need to be?? He is going to kill himself! Or someone ese! Can someone tell me what is bad enough?
I was tempted to leave again, but then I remembered my promise. He did want help. He was trying to take accountability. It just didn't work in his favor. Now he is too deep. He can't see. Can that be? It does seem like such a manipulation or excuse for bad behavior sometimes. He has nobody else close. They have basically washed their hands, family included.
He can be so much calmer in the eyes of the police, his pdoc, and probation officer. They don't believe he is that unstable. They only see him for a few minutes at a time.
I would love to hear from sufferers and supporters alike. Could he really know he needed help and want help and now be in denial due to the mania? I can't believe this unfair nightmare.
As I am writing this he just called me and told me to find another place to live. This is the 3rd time we have gone through this. I just called his pdoc...AGAIN. Help! I am sooo sad.
This is my dilema...and I just couldn't be any more frustrated or heartbroken.
I left my BF 4 months ago due to his continued abusiveness. He was telling me to leave and truly acted as if he couldn't stand me. He has been arrested for domestic violence in the past, attending batterers intervention, and on probation which includes being court ordered not to drink.
I thought he was a run of the mill typical abuser and just wasn't changing.
After 5 days he came to me saying that he wanted to see a psychiatrist. He wanted to find out why he was so filled with rage all the time. Can you believe I had no idea?? He cried and begged me to never leave again. We talked about what to do if "it" ever happened again. I don't believe at that time he even knew what "it" was, other than the "monster is his head."
He said please try to sit me down and tell me what an ******* I am being. Just don't leave me. I need you to take care of me.
As I look back I realize he was in a severe manic episode when I had left. He had self-medicated for 3 days while I was gone(regardless of the court order) and his symptoms had been relieved somewhat.
He was trying so hard to win me back and be nice but during the 3 week wait to get into the pdoc he had some very bad moments.
The doctor originally put him on Celexa and Temazepam. Within a few days this guy turned into a completely different person. He was calm, rational, and NON ABUSIVE. I finally had my boyfriend back. It had been a long while. We had a wonderful month and a half. I was incredibly happy. He was happy. Then he had a couple of mild panic attacks. Back to the doctor we went and he was prescribed Clonazepam for anxiety. By the next day he was already showing signs of rage. Out of control driving and road rage and then escalating abuse of myself and his children. I called his pdoc freaking out. His med changed to Divalproex, but the doc continued the Clonazepam. He got even worse. By now he is in denial, completely manic and saying I am the one who is crazy. I called his counselors. They forced him to go back to the doc and his script was changed to Seroquel. No change. Doc doubled it. Still no change. Sinking deeper with paranoid delusions and even hallucinations (he denies). By now I am trying to get someone, anyone to Baker Act (involuntary hospitalization) this guy. I had to call the police during a violent moment. They wouldn't do it. Said he seemed just fine to them. Sure. He was removed for the night. He called me the next morning and said I need you to go to the doc with me today. He was switched yet again, this time Zyprexa. My neighbors asked yesterday if he is on crack cocaine due to his super speed driving, lurking around in the middle of the night, and the crazed look in his eyes. He is completely emotionally detached from me. He is in violation of his probation and blaming me. pdoc doubled his script yesterday. He is running around like a chicken with his head cut off. Making jerky movements. Never seen that before. All the while...doc has continued the Clonazepam despite my repeated requests to stop it. Does anyone else think this drug could have started the mania? He has now been diagnosed cyclomythic. I am not sure I agree. Isn't that a lesser form of bipolar? Can someone tell me if there are delusions and hallucinations involved? Believe me, he is not in a mild state by any means. I would give him a Bipolar 1 rapid cycler. And I am not sure the diagnosis is done there.
In the last month he has gotten 3 speeding tickets, wrecked his car twice, and finally totaled his car from being in a rage. Then proceeded to wreck his rental twice.
pdoc says he doesn't see a need for a hospitalization. WHAT? How bad do they need to be?? He is going to kill himself! Or someone ese! Can someone tell me what is bad enough?
I was tempted to leave again, but then I remembered my promise. He did want help. He was trying to take accountability. It just didn't work in his favor. Now he is too deep. He can't see. Can that be? It does seem like such a manipulation or excuse for bad behavior sometimes. He has nobody else close. They have basically washed their hands, family included.
He can be so much calmer in the eyes of the police, his pdoc, and probation officer. They don't believe he is that unstable. They only see him for a few minutes at a time.
I would love to hear from sufferers and supporters alike. Could he really know he needed help and want help and now be in denial due to the mania? I can't believe this unfair nightmare.
As I am writing this he just called me and told me to find another place to live. This is the 3rd time we have gone through this. I just called his pdoc...AGAIN. Help! I am sooo sad.