2nd December 2007
Hello people.:)
I have a short story about my history and some dreams to interpret. Help me with this so I can get insight into my dreams.
History.
Drug abuse followed by addiction goes back to my late teens and early twenties. My drugs of choice at that time were Benzedrine, Crystal meth, and Cocaine. My use was purely recreational, Friday and Saturday nights, mostly, drop a $100 on some good dope. I had a beautiful and sweet girlfriend at the time. We were supposed to be married when she graduated. It didn’t happen. She got tired of the weekend drug parties, and left me cold-feet style, a week before the wedding. A deep and lasting depression set in, and my drug-abuse turned into the self-destruction of addiction.
My parents saw that I was going down fast. They didn’t know what I was on and didn’t care. They wanted me to leave the Willamette valley and come to southern Oregon to stay with them and clean up. I quit my job, came to their home, and got clean. I was clean for about four years, found a new girlfriend, rented and apartment, lifted weights, and practiced karate with my friends. Life was good. Then came the trigger: a friend from the Willamette Valley stopped by with cocaine. We partied hard. My girlfriend loved the coke, and we both had good jobs.
After she got tired of the parties and left, I crashed and burned again. I was heavy into meth and was having paranoid hallucinations. I lost my job and all of my money. I was stealing to get more drugs. It was bad. When the hallucinations turned into a form of schizophrenia, I got off of stimulants for the last time. I landed a good job in the nick of time and was clean and sober for 15 years. My hobbies of childhood came back, and I had the money to buy a home and play my hobbies. I got married, went to college, and life was good one more time.
I was still lifting weights when I hurt my back. Complaining about the pain got me introduced to the opiate family of drugs. I tried all of them—codeine,…, and heroin, at least once. Hydro and Soma were easy to get, and they became my new drugs of choice. At the peak of my usage, I had 4 bottles of 90ct hydro 10/325 in my safe and more on the way. Additionally, the schizophrenic behaviors came back. I crashed hard, again, and detoxed about six months ago. I have had three short relapses since then and *mbien became my new doc.
I started a taper and detoxed from *mbien about six days ago. I have three days of clean time behind me now (I am lucky that my wife was compassionate enough to stick around and help me get clean). I am 51 and feel good.
This time, after the last detox Hell was over, my resolve changed. My life has been playing this drug-addict, sorry-*ss record for too long. Today is different. I have been reflecting on life and feel more grounded. I believe that I am READY for recovery. My job, hobbies and hopes for recovery are in my thoughts-- not the pills. I am equipped with the tools needed for recovery from this board. The people who are significant for my recovery are helping me. Are you bored yet? Now for the dreams, next post:
Mk
I have a short story about my history and some dreams to interpret. Help me with this so I can get insight into my dreams.
History.
Drug abuse followed by addiction goes back to my late teens and early twenties. My drugs of choice at that time were Benzedrine, Crystal meth, and Cocaine. My use was purely recreational, Friday and Saturday nights, mostly, drop a $100 on some good dope. I had a beautiful and sweet girlfriend at the time. We were supposed to be married when she graduated. It didn’t happen. She got tired of the weekend drug parties, and left me cold-feet style, a week before the wedding. A deep and lasting depression set in, and my drug-abuse turned into the self-destruction of addiction.
My parents saw that I was going down fast. They didn’t know what I was on and didn’t care. They wanted me to leave the Willamette valley and come to southern Oregon to stay with them and clean up. I quit my job, came to their home, and got clean. I was clean for about four years, found a new girlfriend, rented and apartment, lifted weights, and practiced karate with my friends. Life was good. Then came the trigger: a friend from the Willamette Valley stopped by with cocaine. We partied hard. My girlfriend loved the coke, and we both had good jobs.
After she got tired of the parties and left, I crashed and burned again. I was heavy into meth and was having paranoid hallucinations. I lost my job and all of my money. I was stealing to get more drugs. It was bad. When the hallucinations turned into a form of schizophrenia, I got off of stimulants for the last time. I landed a good job in the nick of time and was clean and sober for 15 years. My hobbies of childhood came back, and I had the money to buy a home and play my hobbies. I got married, went to college, and life was good one more time.
I was still lifting weights when I hurt my back. Complaining about the pain got me introduced to the opiate family of drugs. I tried all of them—codeine,…, and heroin, at least once. Hydro and Soma were easy to get, and they became my new drugs of choice. At the peak of my usage, I had 4 bottles of 90ct hydro 10/325 in my safe and more on the way. Additionally, the schizophrenic behaviors came back. I crashed hard, again, and detoxed about six months ago. I have had three short relapses since then and *mbien became my new doc.
I started a taper and detoxed from *mbien about six days ago. I have three days of clean time behind me now (I am lucky that my wife was compassionate enough to stick around and help me get clean). I am 51 and feel good.
This time, after the last detox Hell was over, my resolve changed. My life has been playing this drug-addict, sorry-*ss record for too long. Today is different. I have been reflecting on life and feel more grounded. I believe that I am READY for recovery. My job, hobbies and hopes for recovery are in my thoughts-- not the pills. I am equipped with the tools needed for recovery from this board. The people who are significant for my recovery are helping me. Are you bored yet? Now for the dreams, next post:
Mk