I saw my psychiatrist today. I was completely and TOTALLY honest with him.

He said with the amt of Ultram I was taking I am lucky to be alive.

He said in thousands and thousands of patients he has seen NEVER has he seen a patient with such tolerance as I.

For sleep he has tried many drugs; he has given me

1. Ambien
2. Lunesta
3. Sonata
4. Seroquel 1500mg (yes, thats not a typo)
5. Doxepin 100mg
6. Valium 10mg
7. Klonopin 2mg.
8. Dalmane 30mg
9. Trazadone

I know that many people are not to familiar with these drugs but they are supposed to promote sleep.

He put me on a sleeping cocktail for me today...

1. Remeron-60mg (has worked WONDERS for me in the past)
2. Dalmane 30mg
3. Zyprexa 15mg

He said if not tonight it should promote sleep in the next couple of weeks. He says my tolerance should start dropping.

The insurance company didn't want to cover my Remeron today. In the past all I would do is think of using for a stupid problem like that. But....I didn't...
I went home called my insurance company and got the problem straightened out.

Anyway...day 4 tommorrow...hope everyone had a good day.

I never mentioned to anyone but I thought I would. When I was 9 years old I went into my parents medicine cabinet and took 5 pills. I didn't want to kill myself or anything; I wanted to get sick so I could get some attention.

The next day I was in the hospital in a coma. Those drugs happened to be Seconal (Secobarbital). Five pills and I lived....

God must have a plan for me...