23rd December 2004
Well, here's my story...
Mine may be a little different simply because I'm a 42 year old male. The fact that my acne bothers me is as troubling as the acne itself. I'm happily married with three children and should be enjoying my life at this point, not worrying about acne. Thus, the terrible cycle.....
As a teenager, I had "run of the mill" acne. It really didn't bother me. I typically would let them go or pop 'em. In my late teens and early 20s, my acne worsened. It wasn't the number of zits, it was the size of them. They were big and in many cases, unpopable. But that didn't stop me from trying to pop them suckers! My thinking was that if they did leave scars I would be able to deal with the scars later in life better than with the zits as a young man (the fact that I'm on the board now tell you anything about that philosophy? ;) .
Then a friend told me to get rid of zits, use a hot washcloth (WARNING!! Do not do this!). So, I went home and got a scalding hot washcloth and placed it over a monster zit. The result? The zit got worse and I'm now left with a burn scar.
Throughout my 20s and early 30s, I continued to get the occasional zit. Some I popped, others I let go. I discovered that it really didn't seem to matter what I did, it would leave a scar or blemish regardless.
By my late 30s, I seemed to be over the acne. I really didn't even think about it for several years. Looking in the mirror never bothered me a bit, in fact I thought the reflection looked okay. I paid no attention to the scars or blemishes, although I'm sure they were there.
Then I approached the age of 40. I developed intensely itchy bumps along my jaw line where my facial hair grows. I have never grown much facial hair, so it seemed to be obvious to me that the bumps were related to shaving.
To make a long story short, I went to a derm to get something to stop the itching. I left the derm with a diagnosis of Rosacea. Not what I was expecting! My skin has always been a little red and it never bothered me. Now that I was told this was a disease, it sent me into a major funk.
I suddenly became overwhelmed with a sense of embarrassment. How could I have not noticed? How could I be so bold as to go around thinking I looked good, only to not. I began studying my face and did not like what I saw. All of a sudden, I saw the scars and blemishes. What I thought was a handsome skin tone, now was a disease. I spent a year in therapy and a year on Paxil for depression and anxiety. I often wish I had never gone to the derm.
The derm was not very good (through my HMO). After my second visit, I asked for another and she told me there was nothing more she could do (It was after this that I went into depression and developed anxiety). I decided not to trust her and did not follow her advice. I sought a second opinion with another derm in my HMO and was again not happy.
Over the next couple years, I started breaking out again similarly to what I did in my early 20s. I know acne is embarrassing for all, but as a 20 year old I could handle it, but not as a 40 year old. I really think my acne had to do with stress and anxiety as much as anything else (work was, and still is, a highly stressful situation).
Finally I got fed up with the breakouts. Recently I decided to see a derm not associated with my HMO. I decided not to say anything about Rosacea in order to allow him to make his own diagnosis. He asked me what brought me to him and I told him the first thing I wanted to do was stop the acne. He prescribed Septra and DUAC. Soon after I started these meds, I developed the worse zit I've ever had, in addition to two others. I'm not even sure it was a zit! I treated it, popped it, and now have another blemish.
But, after that bout, things seem to have settled down. I've been on these meds for about 6 weeks now and haven't had another zit.
Still, I'm very anxious about going out. I used to be very social, now I avoid social situations. And with the holidays upon us, I'll just have to suck it up and find a way to enjoy myself.
I keep telling myself that I'm on a plan that will take a year at least. My plan is to get the acne under control and then look at various treatments for my scars and blemishes. But of course, I want to look good now. The real irony is that I probably don't really look any different than I always have. It's just now I'm aware of my looks. If there is a message in there, it's that the acne only is an issue to us. Others really don't think about it. We are our own worse ememies.
Sorry this is so long, but the older you get, the longer the stories become! :)
Buzz
Mine may be a little different simply because I'm a 42 year old male. The fact that my acne bothers me is as troubling as the acne itself. I'm happily married with three children and should be enjoying my life at this point, not worrying about acne. Thus, the terrible cycle.....
As a teenager, I had "run of the mill" acne. It really didn't bother me. I typically would let them go or pop 'em. In my late teens and early 20s, my acne worsened. It wasn't the number of zits, it was the size of them. They were big and in many cases, unpopable. But that didn't stop me from trying to pop them suckers! My thinking was that if they did leave scars I would be able to deal with the scars later in life better than with the zits as a young man (the fact that I'm on the board now tell you anything about that philosophy? ;) .
Then a friend told me to get rid of zits, use a hot washcloth (WARNING!! Do not do this!). So, I went home and got a scalding hot washcloth and placed it over a monster zit. The result? The zit got worse and I'm now left with a burn scar.
Throughout my 20s and early 30s, I continued to get the occasional zit. Some I popped, others I let go. I discovered that it really didn't seem to matter what I did, it would leave a scar or blemish regardless.
By my late 30s, I seemed to be over the acne. I really didn't even think about it for several years. Looking in the mirror never bothered me a bit, in fact I thought the reflection looked okay. I paid no attention to the scars or blemishes, although I'm sure they were there.
Then I approached the age of 40. I developed intensely itchy bumps along my jaw line where my facial hair grows. I have never grown much facial hair, so it seemed to be obvious to me that the bumps were related to shaving.
To make a long story short, I went to a derm to get something to stop the itching. I left the derm with a diagnosis of Rosacea. Not what I was expecting! My skin has always been a little red and it never bothered me. Now that I was told this was a disease, it sent me into a major funk.
I suddenly became overwhelmed with a sense of embarrassment. How could I have not noticed? How could I be so bold as to go around thinking I looked good, only to not. I began studying my face and did not like what I saw. All of a sudden, I saw the scars and blemishes. What I thought was a handsome skin tone, now was a disease. I spent a year in therapy and a year on Paxil for depression and anxiety. I often wish I had never gone to the derm.
The derm was not very good (through my HMO). After my second visit, I asked for another and she told me there was nothing more she could do (It was after this that I went into depression and developed anxiety). I decided not to trust her and did not follow her advice. I sought a second opinion with another derm in my HMO and was again not happy.
Over the next couple years, I started breaking out again similarly to what I did in my early 20s. I know acne is embarrassing for all, but as a 20 year old I could handle it, but not as a 40 year old. I really think my acne had to do with stress and anxiety as much as anything else (work was, and still is, a highly stressful situation).
Finally I got fed up with the breakouts. Recently I decided to see a derm not associated with my HMO. I decided not to say anything about Rosacea in order to allow him to make his own diagnosis. He asked me what brought me to him and I told him the first thing I wanted to do was stop the acne. He prescribed Septra and DUAC. Soon after I started these meds, I developed the worse zit I've ever had, in addition to two others. I'm not even sure it was a zit! I treated it, popped it, and now have another blemish.
But, after that bout, things seem to have settled down. I've been on these meds for about 6 weeks now and haven't had another zit.
Still, I'm very anxious about going out. I used to be very social, now I avoid social situations. And with the holidays upon us, I'll just have to suck it up and find a way to enjoy myself.
I keep telling myself that I'm on a plan that will take a year at least. My plan is to get the acne under control and then look at various treatments for my scars and blemishes. But of course, I want to look good now. The real irony is that I probably don't really look any different than I always have. It's just now I'm aware of my looks. If there is a message in there, it's that the acne only is an issue to us. Others really don't think about it. We are our own worse ememies.
Sorry this is so long, but the older you get, the longer the stories become! :)
Buzz