23rd April 2005
Behavioral Tips for Obsessive Pickers
I read this entire marathon thread that Zangiff started a couple years ago and it really changed my life. I had no idea there was someone, actually MANY people just like me. I feel for all of you and I feel your pain. We deal with it every day. It consumes us. Our relationships, our jobs, our lives. I’ve been to 5 different shrinks over the course of my life. I think by now we all know that we’re never going to just ‘get over it’ or ‘outgrow it’. I’ve accepted the fact that OCD is part of me and all I can do it live with it, accept it and try to minimize it’s detrimental effects. I’ve found instead of trying to over-analyze or figure out WHY I pick or why I started, why not just try and make things more tolerable now. So here’s a list of things—call it cognitive behavioral therapy if you’d like, I don’t care about the official label—that may help you even if for just one day. Because the worst feeling is thinking you are alone in this. That’s how I felt. Alone like no one understood me. No one knew how serious this is. No one knows the self-inflicted torture we go through. I think we all know by now "Oh just stop doing it" is a bit too shallow of a comment to make. Because what we do it not as glamorous or well-known as cigarette or alcohol addictions we don’t get the help we need. Well, here’s some help for all of you who find yourself in that trance in front of the mirror when twenty minutes has slipped by and suddenly you snap out of it and look at your red, bleeding face and become angry. Here’s everything I got that works:
1.) Tactical Methods (this is what I agreed with from everyone else’s comments) Only allow yourself enough time to get ready without picking in the morning to make it out the door in time for work. In the evening, only allow yourself ONE bathroom visit after work to shower, wash up, and apply treatment/lotion. All other bathroom trips that evening must be done with lights out (like if you have to pee ;) Give yourself a couple minutes after you’ve washed your face to settle. I truly believe that after you wash, you can see ‘opportunities’ to pick. If you can do something else for 5 min.s like do toner and treatment/crème or brush your teeth or something, your skin actually does settle and look less pick-enticing.
2.) Be Mindful/What Do You Really NEED? Treat yourself with care. Be kind to yourself. Nurture your emotions. Ask yourself ‘What do I need right now?’ One of my shrinks told me being mindful of yourself and your needs helps. For example, on your way home from work you may want to recognize the fact that you are tired and may be at risk for a pick-fest that evening. Instead of giving into fate, recognize the challenge and decide to put off the urge. Instead, get some rest and see if the urge passes. Dealing with obsessive picking is all about dealing with the NOW.
3.) Recognize Your Triggers. What causes you go into the bathroom and fall into that trance? As a follow-up to being mindful, knowing what your triggers are can help with awareness. Here are some examples (these are my triggers):
1.) Over-tired
2.) Missed a medication* approx. 2-3 days prior
3.) Emotional high
4.) Emotional low
5.) Major life change
6.) Just coming back from vacation
7.) Doing something out of my routine
8.) Empty schedule**
9.) Face is almost clear and ‘perfect’
10.) If it’s been a while since I last picked
11.) During recovery (healing)
12.) Face is already damaged
13.) Already on a pick-trend
14.) If I think I’m going to be ‘good’
4.) Choose FREEDOM. What you are doing when you go into the bathroom is actually enslaving yourself. You are preventing yourself from going to that party. Speaking up for yourself when you get dissed by a friend. Going on an interview to get yourself out of a job you hate. Talking to someone you are interested in meeting. If you are blessed with any sort of feeling or recognition before you slip into your daily trance, ask yourself, ‘What is it that I will be giving up after I pick?’ Confidence at school/work? Happiness during cuddle time with a loved one? The ability to just think clearly without muddled thoughts of the state of your face during your day?
5.) Fake It. Sometimes you have to ‘fake up to it’ to achieve it. Remember how that smart perfect girl in English class always had beautiful skin? Made you pretty angry huh? Well it made me angry and mad that I couldn’t be like her. Now that I’m older I realized I can have beautiful skin if I leave it alone. I actually pretend I’m like her or any of the other people with beautiful skin who I imagine just throw water on their face and wisk off to work every morning. I pretend my face really isn’t that bad by ignoring some emerging zits and deeper ones, etc. I just leave them alone so I have less to cover up the next morning and my life is a little more like a glamour girl.
6.) Exercise. Give yourself a natural endorphin rush every day to keep you feeling happy and capable of dealing with it. Also helps if you are going off any medication (SSRI’s or anti-depressants) because it gives you that chemical release that you need to keep you from slipping into the negative trances. Go for POSITIVE trances like zoning out with your headphones on a cardio machine at the gym or getting lost in a book of whatever is your hobby. Exercise also helps your skin regenerate faster. (The sweat pushes out all the bad toxins.)
7.) Music. Listen to your favorite music for inspiration. Nothing brings you out of a funk quite like it. Keeps you positive and willing to try.
8.) Sleep. Let your skin do its natural recovery overnight. Also if you aren’t tired, you’ll be more likely to control yourself, your emotions, your actions.
9.) Interactive with People. Even though you may want to avoid the world at all costs with a face full of acne and scars, try and have some laughs with other people. It will help you realize there is more to life that what we go through with our skin and help you get out of your own vicious cycles. People who love you are there to help either directly or indirectly. They can’t help you unless you go out and be with them. It will also make you feel proud of yourself and happy and less likely to pick that night. If anything, it’s more time that you aren’t in front of a mirror, so at least that’s good.
10.) Try Proactive. ([url]http://www.proactivesolution.com/[/url]) I’ve been addicted to it for the last 3 years. I’m 28 and I don’t have the full-fledged acne that used to cover my face when I was younger but I still certainly have milder adult acne now. Proactive doesn’t work for everyone but it’s a miracle for me. I wish I’d know about it sooner. It honesty takes about 3-4 weeks to kick in. It gets rid of the dead skin cells that clog your pores and create zits. All you really need is the 3-step system. You can scrap all the other stuff. Just get the 3-step system, use it in order (1. Cleanser 2. Toner (buy yourself medium-sized cotton balls) 3. Repair Lotion) and get it delivered to your house every 6 weeks. Believe me the $45 every month or so is so worth it. The only problem is I use so much toner that I end up having to use some L’Oreal backup toner between shipment but still that’s OK.
11.) Get Regular Facials with a Good Professional. These gals are great ([url]http://www.milfordbodytherapy.com/facials_massage_new_haven_county_ct.htm#deep_pore_cleansing[/url]) but I realize not all of use have $75 to spend every month. Do it every other month. It may make you break out for a week after due to the great stuff they put on your face to draw impurities to the surface but it’s well worth it. It also makes you more likely to leave the extraction to the professionals.
12.) Meditation. I have yet to truly master or even try this one per se. People say they can control their thoughts through meditation. I’d like to learn more about it.
*Here’s my scoop on medication as related to OCD. I actually do have OCD as related to other things as well (not just picking—but picking is probably my worst symptom) so I take 75 mg of Luvox (an SSRI specifically designed to treat OCD) per day to help. Believe me, I’ve been on so many medications and I think this is the best. When I was in high school they thought I had ADD because I wasn’t making the grades in math and science and I wasn’t a great test taker. I tried Ritalin and it made me nervous and jumpy. I tried Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Norpramin, you name it… I went off the meds after college. I’ve been in the professional world for 5+ years now and recently had a major life change that caused me to resort back to the aid of medication. I was getting myself out of a very abusive relationship with a roommate and moving in with my boyfriend in a new area for the very first time. Throw-in a new ‘real job’ in New York City and BAM! That’s some major life change what made me regress a bit and fall back into my picking habit I used to do so much when I was younger. The Luvox really helped me get a handle on the urges to pick. The only down side was the sexual side-effect—I lost my ability to orgasm. The Luvox pretty much numbs you and takes away the feeling. SO, that’s why I’ve been weaning myself off it (VERY slowly—over months of time…) and ramping up on the behavioral techniques.
** When pickypicky said, "Idle time is a picker’s workshop" I couldn’t stop laughing!!! You really hit it dead-on with that line. I couldn’t have said it better myself. Even reading it again just now I’m seriously LOL. Thank you. ;)
I read this entire marathon thread that Zangiff started a couple years ago and it really changed my life. I had no idea there was someone, actually MANY people just like me. I feel for all of you and I feel your pain. We deal with it every day. It consumes us. Our relationships, our jobs, our lives. I’ve been to 5 different shrinks over the course of my life. I think by now we all know that we’re never going to just ‘get over it’ or ‘outgrow it’. I’ve accepted the fact that OCD is part of me and all I can do it live with it, accept it and try to minimize it’s detrimental effects. I’ve found instead of trying to over-analyze or figure out WHY I pick or why I started, why not just try and make things more tolerable now. So here’s a list of things—call it cognitive behavioral therapy if you’d like, I don’t care about the official label—that may help you even if for just one day. Because the worst feeling is thinking you are alone in this. That’s how I felt. Alone like no one understood me. No one knew how serious this is. No one knows the self-inflicted torture we go through. I think we all know by now "Oh just stop doing it" is a bit too shallow of a comment to make. Because what we do it not as glamorous or well-known as cigarette or alcohol addictions we don’t get the help we need. Well, here’s some help for all of you who find yourself in that trance in front of the mirror when twenty minutes has slipped by and suddenly you snap out of it and look at your red, bleeding face and become angry. Here’s everything I got that works:
1.) Tactical Methods (this is what I agreed with from everyone else’s comments) Only allow yourself enough time to get ready without picking in the morning to make it out the door in time for work. In the evening, only allow yourself ONE bathroom visit after work to shower, wash up, and apply treatment/lotion. All other bathroom trips that evening must be done with lights out (like if you have to pee ;) Give yourself a couple minutes after you’ve washed your face to settle. I truly believe that after you wash, you can see ‘opportunities’ to pick. If you can do something else for 5 min.s like do toner and treatment/crème or brush your teeth or something, your skin actually does settle and look less pick-enticing.
2.) Be Mindful/What Do You Really NEED? Treat yourself with care. Be kind to yourself. Nurture your emotions. Ask yourself ‘What do I need right now?’ One of my shrinks told me being mindful of yourself and your needs helps. For example, on your way home from work you may want to recognize the fact that you are tired and may be at risk for a pick-fest that evening. Instead of giving into fate, recognize the challenge and decide to put off the urge. Instead, get some rest and see if the urge passes. Dealing with obsessive picking is all about dealing with the NOW.
3.) Recognize Your Triggers. What causes you go into the bathroom and fall into that trance? As a follow-up to being mindful, knowing what your triggers are can help with awareness. Here are some examples (these are my triggers):
1.) Over-tired
2.) Missed a medication* approx. 2-3 days prior
3.) Emotional high
4.) Emotional low
5.) Major life change
6.) Just coming back from vacation
7.) Doing something out of my routine
8.) Empty schedule**
9.) Face is almost clear and ‘perfect’
10.) If it’s been a while since I last picked
11.) During recovery (healing)
12.) Face is already damaged
13.) Already on a pick-trend
14.) If I think I’m going to be ‘good’
4.) Choose FREEDOM. What you are doing when you go into the bathroom is actually enslaving yourself. You are preventing yourself from going to that party. Speaking up for yourself when you get dissed by a friend. Going on an interview to get yourself out of a job you hate. Talking to someone you are interested in meeting. If you are blessed with any sort of feeling or recognition before you slip into your daily trance, ask yourself, ‘What is it that I will be giving up after I pick?’ Confidence at school/work? Happiness during cuddle time with a loved one? The ability to just think clearly without muddled thoughts of the state of your face during your day?
5.) Fake It. Sometimes you have to ‘fake up to it’ to achieve it. Remember how that smart perfect girl in English class always had beautiful skin? Made you pretty angry huh? Well it made me angry and mad that I couldn’t be like her. Now that I’m older I realized I can have beautiful skin if I leave it alone. I actually pretend I’m like her or any of the other people with beautiful skin who I imagine just throw water on their face and wisk off to work every morning. I pretend my face really isn’t that bad by ignoring some emerging zits and deeper ones, etc. I just leave them alone so I have less to cover up the next morning and my life is a little more like a glamour girl.
6.) Exercise. Give yourself a natural endorphin rush every day to keep you feeling happy and capable of dealing with it. Also helps if you are going off any medication (SSRI’s or anti-depressants) because it gives you that chemical release that you need to keep you from slipping into the negative trances. Go for POSITIVE trances like zoning out with your headphones on a cardio machine at the gym or getting lost in a book of whatever is your hobby. Exercise also helps your skin regenerate faster. (The sweat pushes out all the bad toxins.)
7.) Music. Listen to your favorite music for inspiration. Nothing brings you out of a funk quite like it. Keeps you positive and willing to try.
8.) Sleep. Let your skin do its natural recovery overnight. Also if you aren’t tired, you’ll be more likely to control yourself, your emotions, your actions.
9.) Interactive with People. Even though you may want to avoid the world at all costs with a face full of acne and scars, try and have some laughs with other people. It will help you realize there is more to life that what we go through with our skin and help you get out of your own vicious cycles. People who love you are there to help either directly or indirectly. They can’t help you unless you go out and be with them. It will also make you feel proud of yourself and happy and less likely to pick that night. If anything, it’s more time that you aren’t in front of a mirror, so at least that’s good.
10.) Try Proactive. ([url]http://www.proactivesolution.com/[/url]) I’ve been addicted to it for the last 3 years. I’m 28 and I don’t have the full-fledged acne that used to cover my face when I was younger but I still certainly have milder adult acne now. Proactive doesn’t work for everyone but it’s a miracle for me. I wish I’d know about it sooner. It honesty takes about 3-4 weeks to kick in. It gets rid of the dead skin cells that clog your pores and create zits. All you really need is the 3-step system. You can scrap all the other stuff. Just get the 3-step system, use it in order (1. Cleanser 2. Toner (buy yourself medium-sized cotton balls) 3. Repair Lotion) and get it delivered to your house every 6 weeks. Believe me the $45 every month or so is so worth it. The only problem is I use so much toner that I end up having to use some L’Oreal backup toner between shipment but still that’s OK.
11.) Get Regular Facials with a Good Professional. These gals are great ([url]http://www.milfordbodytherapy.com/facials_massage_new_haven_county_ct.htm#deep_pore_cleansing[/url]) but I realize not all of use have $75 to spend every month. Do it every other month. It may make you break out for a week after due to the great stuff they put on your face to draw impurities to the surface but it’s well worth it. It also makes you more likely to leave the extraction to the professionals.
12.) Meditation. I have yet to truly master or even try this one per se. People say they can control their thoughts through meditation. I’d like to learn more about it.
*Here’s my scoop on medication as related to OCD. I actually do have OCD as related to other things as well (not just picking—but picking is probably my worst symptom) so I take 75 mg of Luvox (an SSRI specifically designed to treat OCD) per day to help. Believe me, I’ve been on so many medications and I think this is the best. When I was in high school they thought I had ADD because I wasn’t making the grades in math and science and I wasn’t a great test taker. I tried Ritalin and it made me nervous and jumpy. I tried Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Norpramin, you name it… I went off the meds after college. I’ve been in the professional world for 5+ years now and recently had a major life change that caused me to resort back to the aid of medication. I was getting myself out of a very abusive relationship with a roommate and moving in with my boyfriend in a new area for the very first time. Throw-in a new ‘real job’ in New York City and BAM! That’s some major life change what made me regress a bit and fall back into my picking habit I used to do so much when I was younger. The Luvox really helped me get a handle on the urges to pick. The only down side was the sexual side-effect—I lost my ability to orgasm. The Luvox pretty much numbs you and takes away the feeling. SO, that’s why I’ve been weaning myself off it (VERY slowly—over months of time…) and ramping up on the behavioral techniques.
** When pickypicky said, "Idle time is a picker’s workshop" I couldn’t stop laughing!!! You really hit it dead-on with that line. I couldn’t have said it better myself. Even reading it again just now I’m seriously LOL. Thank you. ;)