20th November 2007
I can understand your frustration.
First, the good news. According to my mother, 13 is the most difficult age for most girls, and it certainly was for me. After I got through the worst of the hormonal age and started high school, it got a little easier--and I hadn't been diagnosed or medicated yet.
If you've exhaused the non-drug possibilities, then it might be worth turning to medicine. There are several stimulant medications (ritalin, adderall, dexedrine, maybe others), and a few nonstimulant medicines that I don't know much about. Different ones work better for different people, so you may need to try more than one before you see benefit without intolerable side effects. If you do start trying drugs, you want the doctor to start her at the lowest dose that might work, and go up from there, watching for new sleep or mood problems.
If you are lucky, and stimulants work for her, you will notice a small change immediately. She will not be transformed into a perfect student, but she will be capable of benefiting from the effort you've been putting in. That's where the real work begins--she has to learn study and organizational skills. It might be of benefit to find someone outside the family to teach her, someone she isn't already in the habit of fighting over these things with. I saw a professional coach for a few months, but it could just as easily be a neighbor or something.
She's got a mother who's willing to do whatever it takes. More often than not, that's enough to make the difference.
First, the good news. According to my mother, 13 is the most difficult age for most girls, and it certainly was for me. After I got through the worst of the hormonal age and started high school, it got a little easier--and I hadn't been diagnosed or medicated yet.
If you've exhaused the non-drug possibilities, then it might be worth turning to medicine. There are several stimulant medications (ritalin, adderall, dexedrine, maybe others), and a few nonstimulant medicines that I don't know much about. Different ones work better for different people, so you may need to try more than one before you see benefit without intolerable side effects. If you do start trying drugs, you want the doctor to start her at the lowest dose that might work, and go up from there, watching for new sleep or mood problems.
If you are lucky, and stimulants work for her, you will notice a small change immediately. She will not be transformed into a perfect student, but she will be capable of benefiting from the effort you've been putting in. That's where the real work begins--she has to learn study and organizational skills. It might be of benefit to find someone outside the family to teach her, someone she isn't already in the habit of fighting over these things with. I saw a professional coach for a few months, but it could just as easily be a neighbor or something.
She's got a mother who's willing to do whatever it takes. More often than not, that's enough to make the difference.