Hi,

I haven't been on this board for awhile, but I know many of you and I know that many of you know my story and have been following my changing Drs. etc. and how I pushed to switch to a Dr. who would prescribe suboxone to me w/o asking me to make a choice to stop klonopin at a very low dose at the same time.

Today was the 3rd time I've seen him. All month I was worried, because I had a gut feeling about this doc wanting to help me perhaps a little too much, which is not a bad thing, but this is the dilemma. The suboxone and klonopin are fine. But this doc (who is really a caring Dr.) altho keep keep in mind that he is an addictionologist, no a psychiatrist - seems to want to give me all different kinds of antidepressants because altho I'm doing much better and am stabilized, he wants to see me doing better. It's the first time I've been compliant in taking 20mg prozac every day w/o forgetting and I believe it is helping.

But, I firmly feel that a pill is not going to make me less depressed. I've been having my up days/down days; I'm often sad alot, but then again my brother recently passed, and life is not where I thought it would be at this time. The 1st A/D he wanted to give me to try was Effexor which I heard such bad things about from so many, that I said absolutely not. Why don't I just stay on prozac for awhile. Today, he offered me something called Risperdal (look it up on google) which is given to bipolars, psychotics, which I'm neither but it helps people in certain ways so he says. He gave me samples and said, if I don't take them, then to double the amount of prozac I was taking. My psychiatrist always told me, by the way I reacted to prozac, to increase my dose gradually, like 10 mg at a time.

I do NOT want to be trying out different A/D at this time in my life...but I FEAR that if I don't listen to him -- that he will take away my suboxone or just look at me as a resistant patient. I talked to him about it; I'm sort of afraid of messing around with antidepressants, etc. prozac is the only one I've ever taken I'm familiar with and have had no bad side effects, except it does not work 100%. Is there a pill that does? I feel like saying I'll take 40 mg prozac and stay where I am, but I don't want to lie to anyone.

It's SO hard to tell a Dr. really that all you really want him for is because he prescribes suboxone, altho that was not the only reason; he is a very caring person. He's written dozens of articles on the benefits of hugging (truly) and wants to see me happier. Today he said, do you trust me? And i do, but I STILL don't want to be trying out different A/D and I think I'll insult him if I don't.

And today, he wanted me to try it and see him in 2 weeks. I told him I could not because of finances (I go once a month) and pay $90 (he usually charges $170!). So, he said OK, one month then.

Am I worrying too much. I cannot bring myself to try this sample of risperdal tonight......:(

Thanks for listening to all my rambling...and I hope all is well.

Murphy

Thank for all the responses.

Some i can see don't know my previous history - I was with a psychiatrist for 15 years and on a variety of anti-depressants and a low dose of klonopin.

My view is this though. I'm on 20mg prozac (which I don't forget to take as i did before, on & off). With the addiction of the suboxone, I feel much more stabilized and much less depressed. I don't feel the necessity to keep on experimenting with antidepressants even tho I am depressed about alot of things. I don't want to be a guinea pig for medicines.

I fear though, once again, that If I don't listen to what he tells me -- that he will take away the suboxone, thinking thta I don't really want to get better - when that's not it at all. And as some said, I like him and he is caring but I don't trust a non-psychiatriast prescribing me psychiatric medications. But I cannot tell him that. I've tole him I've always been resistant to playing around with A/D. but I am sticking with what i'm familiar with at the lowest dose possible and I do believe it's helping. He said that if I didn't like the 'samples' of Risperdal - to "up" the prozac to 40 mg. I don't feel the necessesity to do that either !!!

Funny, he's trying to help my depression, but when I left, i felt more depressed than I have in awhile. Too much change for me, too quickly and I told him that. I may take 7 samples .... what were some of the negative side effects, if any aside from tiredness. He said it might be sedative. Is there any problem getting off after a week?

Thanks.
Murphy

Hi ---

I'm on 12mg of suboxone.

I haven't tried the risperdal yet (waiting until after my birthday, tomorrow); then I will try 7. So let's say I feel tired all the time or weird, or ??? and I tell him that -- or let's say I feel NO change, and he wants to up the dose. I don't want to up the dose of this one .....

If THIS doesn't work, he wants me to up the prozac from 20 to 40 -- and my old psychiatrist knows my history - 15 years ... and I know that any little increase in prozac agitates me and I have to do it gradually, like 5-10 at a time. 20mg for me is alot.

He just seemed a little irritated with me and I felt depressed and have since. The truth is - I switched to him - to provide my medications because he prescribed suboxone and I heard from many he was a caring guy. I was taking prozac, 1mg klonopin, and now I'm taking 12mg suboxone and trying to wean down lately. I don't want him messing with my psyche, even if he means well.

I've gone there 3 times so far, and each time I've had to 'wait' 1-2 hours to get to see him, he reduced my fee to $90. But now I wonder, why even go every month if everything is status quo? I feel that he has a different agenda for me. I think he wants me off the klonopin, on a different antidepressant and eventually off the suboxone.

I suppose that next appointment, we have to talk and I have to know and tell the truth. I also know from knowing me & my life that a pill will not improve my life. I'm also working with a psychologist - see every week - she's not the greatest but at least I can talk to someone and she is covered under my insurance.

Should I write this Dr.? I asked a friend, and she said no ... wait until next time. I'm not sure. I tend to express my feelings better by writing sometimes.

Thank you
Murphy