27th August 2003
Before I get into my post I want to say I am glad I found this place. I have been looking for a good message board where the users were a supportive group of caring people. I think I may have found that here.
Addiction. It has virtually taken over my life completely. To begin I had a tooth pulled about three years ago and I was given a prescription of Lortab 7.5/ 500, the quantity was 20 pills. To show how my mind works I took advantage of it being the hectic end of the day in the MD's office by coming back in the next morning with a phony story on how a roommate somehow pitched my scrips in the trash and I lost them both (one for antibiotics). Long story short the doc took pity on me and promptly wrote 2 more prescriptions out. So instead of 20 Lortabs I ended up with 40. It had been years since I had taken any but I remembered how much I enjoyed them last time I had them so I concocted the aforementioned scheme in order to double the amount of pills. It worked beautifully. What I'm gonna write now is true and I will NEVER change my mind if I live to be a hundred. The incredibly beautiful high provided by those pills is unlike anything I have ever experienced. I have told others the high is better than the best sex there is and they act like I am making up stories. To this day I still feel the same way and wont change. I proceeded to spend the next week in pure heaven. Every night I'd take enough pills so I would end up nodded out in front of my computer listening to music or watching a movie. I would get so high I would simply fall asleep in the middle of whatever I was doing. When the pills ran out I wasn't a happy camper but in a period of about 2 months I went from zero "friends" I could get them from to more than a couple people who would help me get my hands on them. In the interest of keeping my post short I will fast forward thru about a year or so to the point where I had at least a half dozen people who would sell me pills. Believe me when I say I wasn't in any pain at all but simply wanted to get that fantastic high that these pills produced. More importantly as time went on I found myself devoting larger amounts of time and more effort, not to mention a lot of money, to the enterprise of acquiring pills. I quickly came to grips with tolerance too and found I had to take increasingly larger amounts of pills and stronger painkillers to get that same high that only a couple ES's used to produce. I'd say it took me less than a year to go from a recreational user to hardcore pill head. I also soon had my first bout with withdrawal as I progressed with my pill usage and found out what a horrible feeling it produced. For those that haven't ever gone thru it it is nightmarish beyond imagination. It would be an ideal torture procedure and over extended periods of time I believe it could induce mild insanity in most people. Again I will fast forward some more and bring you up to about 6 months or so ago. At that point I'd been a hardcore user for a year or two and by this time I had taken just about every painkiller known to man, Darvocet, Vicodin, Lortab, Lorcet, Percocet, Oxycodone, Oxy-Contin, Roxycodone, Dilaudid, Fentanyl, Methadone(this I use to keep from going thru withdrawal) and whatever else I am leaving out. I also managed to start injecting the narcotics by this time as using it orally just did not work anymore. I should add that I had to leave the weaker painkillers like Vicodin behind as even 6 or 7 did absolutely nothing for me nor did 10 Percocets even faze me. To give you a clue as to what kinda level I was at orally I was taking doses that would probably tranquilize an elephant. I have taken 46 five milligram oxycodone pills at one time which for those that arent aware what that may equal, it's the same thing as taking 46 Percocets minus the acetominophen that comes with the Percs. With oxycodone all you get is the narcotic aspect, no added tylenol. As sick as it sounds I am blessed with a talent for meeting people who find me trustworthy or I wouldn't have been able to find so many contacts for so many different drugs. As I have mentioned the fact that I have been injecting narcotic pills I must also mention that I now use heroin on a regular basis. If I am out of line with posting this information I apologize because I am new to this board and am simply being honest about what I deal with on a daily basis. Just talking about it helps immensely on most occasions. I am in treatment for SEVERE depression which is caused by the drug abuse in large part because when you get as high as I have been and then its gone, you tend to get extremely depressed. When I don't have something to get high with I still have methadone to keep withdrawal away but it is not the same as getting that high. The high has never changed, it's just the amount and strength of narcotic required to produce it that has changed over the years. To sum it up I am an emotional wreck but I'm also a financial wreck, $15,000 dollars in debt, all to credit cards. I went thru a $5,000 dollar card like it wasn't even there and it all went to buying painkillers and the occasional rent bill. I am currently taking Effexor XR for the depression and I'm in my 4th week of taking it so I'm starting to see some slight improvement. I also take Risperdal which helps me sleep and also helps with an anger problem that can be pretty unattractive sometimes. I am a 31 year old man with no wife, no girlfriend and no prospects. I do have a drug addiction. I am coming to grips with the fact that my parents absolutely have to know about this and soon! Someone finally said something that made me think. They said if I didn't tell them about my addiction problem I was cheating them out of what could be their last chance to help save my life.
sincerely, rockingham.
Addiction. It has virtually taken over my life completely. To begin I had a tooth pulled about three years ago and I was given a prescription of Lortab 7.5/ 500, the quantity was 20 pills. To show how my mind works I took advantage of it being the hectic end of the day in the MD's office by coming back in the next morning with a phony story on how a roommate somehow pitched my scrips in the trash and I lost them both (one for antibiotics). Long story short the doc took pity on me and promptly wrote 2 more prescriptions out. So instead of 20 Lortabs I ended up with 40. It had been years since I had taken any but I remembered how much I enjoyed them last time I had them so I concocted the aforementioned scheme in order to double the amount of pills. It worked beautifully. What I'm gonna write now is true and I will NEVER change my mind if I live to be a hundred. The incredibly beautiful high provided by those pills is unlike anything I have ever experienced. I have told others the high is better than the best sex there is and they act like I am making up stories. To this day I still feel the same way and wont change. I proceeded to spend the next week in pure heaven. Every night I'd take enough pills so I would end up nodded out in front of my computer listening to music or watching a movie. I would get so high I would simply fall asleep in the middle of whatever I was doing. When the pills ran out I wasn't a happy camper but in a period of about 2 months I went from zero "friends" I could get them from to more than a couple people who would help me get my hands on them. In the interest of keeping my post short I will fast forward thru about a year or so to the point where I had at least a half dozen people who would sell me pills. Believe me when I say I wasn't in any pain at all but simply wanted to get that fantastic high that these pills produced. More importantly as time went on I found myself devoting larger amounts of time and more effort, not to mention a lot of money, to the enterprise of acquiring pills. I quickly came to grips with tolerance too and found I had to take increasingly larger amounts of pills and stronger painkillers to get that same high that only a couple ES's used to produce. I'd say it took me less than a year to go from a recreational user to hardcore pill head. I also soon had my first bout with withdrawal as I progressed with my pill usage and found out what a horrible feeling it produced. For those that haven't ever gone thru it it is nightmarish beyond imagination. It would be an ideal torture procedure and over extended periods of time I believe it could induce mild insanity in most people. Again I will fast forward some more and bring you up to about 6 months or so ago. At that point I'd been a hardcore user for a year or two and by this time I had taken just about every painkiller known to man, Darvocet, Vicodin, Lortab, Lorcet, Percocet, Oxycodone, Oxy-Contin, Roxycodone, Dilaudid, Fentanyl, Methadone(this I use to keep from going thru withdrawal) and whatever else I am leaving out. I also managed to start injecting the narcotics by this time as using it orally just did not work anymore. I should add that I had to leave the weaker painkillers like Vicodin behind as even 6 or 7 did absolutely nothing for me nor did 10 Percocets even faze me. To give you a clue as to what kinda level I was at orally I was taking doses that would probably tranquilize an elephant. I have taken 46 five milligram oxycodone pills at one time which for those that arent aware what that may equal, it's the same thing as taking 46 Percocets minus the acetominophen that comes with the Percs. With oxycodone all you get is the narcotic aspect, no added tylenol. As sick as it sounds I am blessed with a talent for meeting people who find me trustworthy or I wouldn't have been able to find so many contacts for so many different drugs. As I have mentioned the fact that I have been injecting narcotic pills I must also mention that I now use heroin on a regular basis. If I am out of line with posting this information I apologize because I am new to this board and am simply being honest about what I deal with on a daily basis. Just talking about it helps immensely on most occasions. I am in treatment for SEVERE depression which is caused by the drug abuse in large part because when you get as high as I have been and then its gone, you tend to get extremely depressed. When I don't have something to get high with I still have methadone to keep withdrawal away but it is not the same as getting that high. The high has never changed, it's just the amount and strength of narcotic required to produce it that has changed over the years. To sum it up I am an emotional wreck but I'm also a financial wreck, $15,000 dollars in debt, all to credit cards. I went thru a $5,000 dollar card like it wasn't even there and it all went to buying painkillers and the occasional rent bill. I am currently taking Effexor XR for the depression and I'm in my 4th week of taking it so I'm starting to see some slight improvement. I also take Risperdal which helps me sleep and also helps with an anger problem that can be pretty unattractive sometimes. I am a 31 year old man with no wife, no girlfriend and no prospects. I do have a drug addiction. I am coming to grips with the fact that my parents absolutely have to know about this and soon! Someone finally said something that made me think. They said if I didn't tell them about my addiction problem I was cheating them out of what could be their last chance to help save my life.
sincerely, rockingham.