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   Help! Ozy/Xanax nightmare (Addiction & Recovery board)

7th February 2003
My psychiatrist prescribed me .5mg of Xanax 3x/day about two months ago for anxiety, along with PaxilCR 25mg once/day for depression. I BELIEVE that both my depression and anxiety has to do with on-again, off-again oxy use/abuse. I've been suffering with a torn rotater cuff injury as well for at least six months, awaiting surgery next month now that I finally have insurance. In the meantime (for the last six months) been given 20mg oxy 2x/day, plus 5-15 mg Oxycodone for break-thru pain. Like everyone else, started to chew the oxy's when they didn't work anymore. When I crashed and burned by running out early one month, was depressesd and anxious enough to seek help from a psychiatrist. She prescribed me PaxilCR 25mg for depression, .5 mg of Xanax for anxiety 3x/day. Recently, I've started crushing them up WITH the Xanax (2 .25mg tablets with 2 20mg oxy's) and washing that down with water. Ran out of oxy's this month 13 days early, have gone through WD hell, and will see my shoulder doc again on the 17th of Feb. Neither doc knows what the other is prescribing, plus one has me on Restoril (30mg) for sleep, and the other has me on Remeron (30mg) for sleep. Never take them both - sort of switch off. Anyway, the pain in my shoulder is REALLY not bad enough to warrant the oxy use, but I've gotten so addicted to feeling "productive, pain free, full of energy" that when I'm not on the oxy's each day is a chore to get through. Do get "high", but that's not what I like most. It's just all the ENERGY I have and how PRODUCTIVE I am when I'm on them. Can still work full time, do house duties, take care of hubby, sleep well...then when I run out - I CRASH and BURN and am worthless until my next visit with my shoulder pain doc. I guess what I'm trying to say here, is "do I feel so "lousy" when I'm off the oxy's (emotionally) cos' they're screwing with my brain's pleasure center? That is, if I stay off of them long enough will I become happy/content again? The physical WD's are nuts, but I can handle those. It's the EMOTIONAL side I can't handle - feeling like all I want to do is lay on the couch all day and watch bad TV under a blanket. I'm scared because I've heard all the "HORROR" stories about WD'g off the Xanax can kill you, and I think I'm only taking the Xanax (and the Paxil) because of the anxiety and depression accompanying the WD's from the Oxy's. So I want off BOTH of them badly. How fast can I safely taper off .5mg Xanax 3x/day - I just want to get it over with and feel normal again, but I don't want to kill myself in the process. Any help would be appreciated.
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