well my dealer called me about six times today and i turned him down everytime i told him that i was getting off the stuff and he through a fit because he wants my money and he thinks that i'm his friend but hes not any friend i would want hes worse then i am but just hasn't realized it yet the withdraws are over now now i'm in the deep depression your right i need something to do today i just went on some walks even though it's cold as hell out it seemed to help for a bit tomorrow i'm going to go apply for a job and that should help my mood i wish it was summer too i live to go fishing don't really get to go out on the boats but i got a few spots i go to i only went fishing a few times this summer because of these pills never had the time spent too much time trying to find more percs but i love the winter too when we get a decent snow i think i'll go snow boarding if i can save up some money treat myself for staying clean i'm trying to stay as possitive as i can but it is hard at times thank you guys for your suport you are right you do hold on to every word i think i'm doing pretty good but i'm not letting my guard down or i will slip well i'm gonna go now play some games i guess it's about the only thing to do at 1am when you know your not getting any sleep anyways lol i got some restoril but i'm not gonna take them i'll just get hooked and go from one drug to another