11th November 2006
Sandy, it sounds to me like your mom is still angry at you for putting her there. But you did the right thing and you did it for the right reasons. You wanted her to be safe, clean, happy and well fed. Good for you for sticking to your guns and not taking your mom back home. You know home is the least safest place for her right now.
Have you talked to families of the other patients to see how their loved ones react when they visit? I ask this because one never really knows what goes on behind closed doors. Is there something happening there that your mom doesn't like? Is your mom crying a lot when you aren't there and no one is telling you or maybe no one knows?
This is a very tough situation for you I know.
You asked about the antidepressants. Zoloft is in the SSRI group (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors). As far as I know, it's not widely used for AD with agitation but it did curb my dad's agitation. But Zoloft doesn't seem to be helping with your mom's depression so maybe another antidepressant would help. I don't know if you would want to go the route of sedatives but a small dose of something like Ativan or Restoril might help.
Is there any way that you can get her doctor to play along with you and tell her that she cannot go home and it is not your decision to make? If only you could get her to believe that, it might get her to at least to ease up some on you.
This is a phase and it will pass. But in the meantime something does need to be done to help her AND you. This phase can last a long time or it can pass very soon but one never knows.
I'm so sorry you're having such a difficult time. I remember the pain and guilt you felt when you had to place your mom there. Just remember why you did it. It was for all the right reasons. Reason #1 was (and is) that you love her and are concerned for her.
Love, Barb
P.S. Remember it's the disease that makes her say all those nasty things. It's not your mom. It's the Imposter. Try as hard as you can to not take it personally. Easier said than done, I know. Just try, ok?
Have you talked to families of the other patients to see how their loved ones react when they visit? I ask this because one never really knows what goes on behind closed doors. Is there something happening there that your mom doesn't like? Is your mom crying a lot when you aren't there and no one is telling you or maybe no one knows?
This is a very tough situation for you I know.
You asked about the antidepressants. Zoloft is in the SSRI group (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors). As far as I know, it's not widely used for AD with agitation but it did curb my dad's agitation. But Zoloft doesn't seem to be helping with your mom's depression so maybe another antidepressant would help. I don't know if you would want to go the route of sedatives but a small dose of something like Ativan or Restoril might help.
Is there any way that you can get her doctor to play along with you and tell her that she cannot go home and it is not your decision to make? If only you could get her to believe that, it might get her to at least to ease up some on you.
This is a phase and it will pass. But in the meantime something does need to be done to help her AND you. This phase can last a long time or it can pass very soon but one never knows.
I'm so sorry you're having such a difficult time. I remember the pain and guilt you felt when you had to place your mom there. Just remember why you did it. It was for all the right reasons. Reason #1 was (and is) that you love her and are concerned for her.
Love, Barb
P.S. Remember it's the disease that makes her say all those nasty things. It's not your mom. It's the Imposter. Try as hard as you can to not take it personally. Easier said than done, I know. Just try, ok?