5th August 2004
Hi guys and gals.
Thought I was home free...had so many good things going again.
Than:
I had hardcore dental work done last last wednesday,by a "no drugs{no sympathy}) dentist.
I tried to tough it out,and instead of going home to lay down,I went right to work painting ,my home,packing for our move.I had a complete "meltdown" getting angry at my son and wife for various things...and then couldn't take the pain anymore....I went and picked up my old legit scrip.
Than I had a big business meeting the next day and was NOT going to let being miserable ruin my Adult/business night out.That was a week ago today.
I'm still in some pain,but not enough to justify taking 2 lortabs.
I also noticed that I started using again when My sons returned from their vaction early and I was double-saddled with moving/childcare responsibilities.I'm trapped at home ,alone,with my two sons WHILE I'm in charge of moving the family,taking car of biz,setting up a garage sale..yada yada yada...
I feel like I never have any "adult" time..i.e. Baseball w/my friends,music,..just hanging out with the boyz......I'm like a housewife on valium in the stereotype.
I even tried drinking a cocktail as an alternative,but I just don't like drinking that often,and can only stand a drink or two.
I've been taking about 2 lortabs a day in the latter part of the day,and a 1 mg Xanax.I also gave up on the non-benzo sleeping stuff,and have benn using restoril again.....sigh.
The sick/funny part is..they aren't giving me the "warm fuzzies"...I've just been using it in halves to cope and take the edge off of my day.
Obviously I'm nowhere near where I was before,But I don't want to start a new cycle.
After reading that post about the way the brain gets reconfigured,it made a lot of sense....the things that used to inspire me,get me excited or that I looked forward to all seem remote and distant(I'm done recording in the studio,I dropped out of Baseball due to my move.....yes I know...I'm the freakin renassaince man)
I was hanging out with my wife,alone,and having a very romantic and fun time with her getting a break from the kids.....she was like my girlfriend again.
Now I feel like I'm falling into the same old patterns again.
Will I have any WD's from taking two a day for a week?
Should I try to get on suboxone? how would I find a Dr. in my area that prescribes it?
..any input would be appreciated
Baseball65
Thought I was home free...had so many good things going again.
Than:
I had hardcore dental work done last last wednesday,by a "no drugs{no sympathy}) dentist.
I tried to tough it out,and instead of going home to lay down,I went right to work painting ,my home,packing for our move.I had a complete "meltdown" getting angry at my son and wife for various things...and then couldn't take the pain anymore....I went and picked up my old legit scrip.
Than I had a big business meeting the next day and was NOT going to let being miserable ruin my Adult/business night out.That was a week ago today.
I'm still in some pain,but not enough to justify taking 2 lortabs.
I also noticed that I started using again when My sons returned from their vaction early and I was double-saddled with moving/childcare responsibilities.I'm trapped at home ,alone,with my two sons WHILE I'm in charge of moving the family,taking car of biz,setting up a garage sale..yada yada yada...
I feel like I never have any "adult" time..i.e. Baseball w/my friends,music,..just hanging out with the boyz......I'm like a housewife on valium in the stereotype.
I even tried drinking a cocktail as an alternative,but I just don't like drinking that often,and can only stand a drink or two.
I've been taking about 2 lortabs a day in the latter part of the day,and a 1 mg Xanax.I also gave up on the non-benzo sleeping stuff,and have benn using restoril again.....sigh.
The sick/funny part is..they aren't giving me the "warm fuzzies"...I've just been using it in halves to cope and take the edge off of my day.
Obviously I'm nowhere near where I was before,But I don't want to start a new cycle.
After reading that post about the way the brain gets reconfigured,it made a lot of sense....the things that used to inspire me,get me excited or that I looked forward to all seem remote and distant(I'm done recording in the studio,I dropped out of Baseball due to my move.....yes I know...I'm the freakin renassaince man)
I was hanging out with my wife,alone,and having a very romantic and fun time with her getting a break from the kids.....she was like my girlfriend again.
Now I feel like I'm falling into the same old patterns again.
Will I have any WD's from taking two a day for a week?
Should I try to get on suboxone? how would I find a Dr. in my area that prescribes it?
..any input would be appreciated
Baseball65