17th October 2003
Chef, thanks for your input; it's 5 AM and I have not been able to to sleep, regardless of how many pills I took last night to knock me out. It has just made me nervouce an groggy. I am going to inform my Dr. not to give any details, any more of my addiction problem; but I am going to encourage her, to encourage this lady to let the problem transfer to medical help and to stop holding this over my head. I don't understand why you say it's legally too late for her to do anything I gave her the info she needed so that she would further know that I my iintentions and that my Dr. would validte that truth. That has been accomplished. The only thing more that needs to be really said is that I am (there is a start date,etc.) ... and as I said in previous posts, I not get the feeling that she holding this over my head and I'm suffering for it. I also thought about what you were thinking; what happens if I relapse down the road; it's not really her business to follow my recovery for life. I want her out my life the sooner the better.
She doesn't want to replace the pills. I mean, there were not many. She feels the responsibiity of protecting others from my thievery. At least that was what the Dr. said, and yet when she wrote me, she said she was too traumatized to deal wtih me and held that decision over my head again. But I think If I tell her to get lost, I think she will automatically press charges and scar my record, and I agree with you that i think shes gonna be a cause of some problems down the road if I don't get her out of my life. I don't need her cats/dogs to watch. I have tons of clients that trust and depend on me. She is just one that another housesitter asked me to fill in on as a favor because it was not in her neighborhood and I agreed to do it.
This fear looming over me is preventin me from sleeping, making me feel self-destructive and taking away my focus on recovery. She is a neurotic lady that is now conrolling my life, I feel. And also, I might add, that while we were talking last Sunday, she admitted to me that she takes restoril, ambien, and xanax to hellp her sleep, and so she can understand sometimes the feelings I might have. I thought we wre getting somewhere.
How can I finally get this woman out of my life and at least get my power back as far as not being controlled by fear.
Brenda
She doesn't want to replace the pills. I mean, there were not many. She feels the responsibiity of protecting others from my thievery. At least that was what the Dr. said, and yet when she wrote me, she said she was too traumatized to deal wtih me and held that decision over my head again. But I think If I tell her to get lost, I think she will automatically press charges and scar my record, and I agree with you that i think shes gonna be a cause of some problems down the road if I don't get her out of my life. I don't need her cats/dogs to watch. I have tons of clients that trust and depend on me. She is just one that another housesitter asked me to fill in on as a favor because it was not in her neighborhood and I agreed to do it.
This fear looming over me is preventin me from sleeping, making me feel self-destructive and taking away my focus on recovery. She is a neurotic lady that is now conrolling my life, I feel. And also, I might add, that while we were talking last Sunday, she admitted to me that she takes restoril, ambien, and xanax to hellp her sleep, and so she can understand sometimes the feelings I might have. I thought we wre getting somewhere.
How can I finally get this woman out of my life and at least get my power back as far as not being controlled by fear.
Brenda