well im in the sh** as we speak runs weak achey its been since 3:00am since i took last. i have a stash of restoril that i have been munchin on and sleepin all day. i got to get up for work at 3:00am but i workonly couple of hours and its in my truck driving around mail so i dont have to see anyone so thats nice. cause i know i look rotten. just felt like whining a little.

well im comming up on my first day without at exactly 3:00am when i leave for work i feel pretty crappy. i am hoping since i tapered (iwent two days of 6 then two days of 4 than one day of 3 and then one day of 2)that this might not be as long of wd as last timei went through a lot of the aches on monday and tuesday they have stopped just real restless and depressed. i didnt have time to taper the way i wanted but like other people have stated its just not there i need to go c/t. any suggestions for today would be appreciated i have b-6 a multi and some restoril for sleep.

thanks okie

i just got back from work it was short and sweat everyone is eager to go for the weekend so everyone on my stops were waiting for me to drop off my mail. i am eating some chicken and rice soup with a big 1000mg tab of vitamin c i heard that helps its weird i get episodes where i feel i want to say normal no craving no symptoms of w/d and then it goes away the are becoming more frequent that is a good sign i hope. i am still contemplating going to a relative who is a recovering addict and is a doctor. the only thing is that he works for a clinic that monitors thae docs and what they perscribe and his boss is a real dick so i dont know if i want to go to him or not .if i can make it through today i should be okay i have some restoril i will take after the kids go to school and crash.

i live on west coast chef still late its 2:00am and i am up in front of the comp leg twitchin away i took another restoril so i can go too bed at least i dont have to work for the next 3 days. i have to get up at 2:30am to work but now i can kick it at the house the next three and i figure by tuesday i will doing pretty good without pills i have no way to get them so i have no choice i am not the kind to fake injury to get them im not that good a faker. so i have no choice then to take my **** back and get control if you know what i mean.