Hi everyone. I'm new and have never posted on a board for this kind of support before...I can't believe that there are so few addiction/recovery sites on the web! I'm so glad I found this one. Anyway, here goes...I've had chronic lower back/leg pain for 9 yrs. My dr has been giving soma(4/day), lorect10(3/day), percocet10(3/day), and restoril at bedtime. Oh, he also gives me fiorinal. Over the past years, my tolerance has built up more and more. It get 120 of each once a month (except restoril), and what used to be a 30 day supply is now gone in 7 days - max. When those run out, I also have another dr I see who gives me the same meds. I also call each one for early refills once a month. you would think that would get me through a whole month, but nooooo! Unbelieveable - I'm taking over 500 pills a month and still have a few days in between. This is not something I'm proud of. It scares the sh*$ out of me. I have 3 kids, 17, 14 & 10, and I'm scared one of them will find me dead one day. Is that enough to make me stop?noooo! I was arrested about a year ago. I was stopped for speeding and had an outstanding attachment for another ticket. and I was so scared of going through withdrawl while in a cell, I put about 10 pills in my bra wile I was in the police car (the cop left my purse in the back with me, and even though I was handcuffed, I turned into Harry Houdini quick!). While being searched they were found. I was like, "Oh, I have a prescription for those!" like it really mattered. I was lucky, cause later I was told they could have charged me with smuggling a narcotic into a correctional facility. My 17 yr old knows I take alot and when he sees me he's like Mom, why do you take those??? I try to rationalize because i have a "prescription" for them. I think my 10 yr old knows more than the others though. He sees me take them and gets really really quiet. He's heard me and his dad go at it quite a few times over my drug use. My bf does try to help me, but i hide them....then he'll tear the house apart when i'm gone trying to find my stash...when i get home there's a big fight...OH! and when he flushes them down the toilet in front of me you would think he was trying to kill me - I turn into psycho-*****! Once we were outside fighting and he threw them on the roof. I waited till he was gone and climbed on the roof in the middle of a freezing winter night with a flashlight. Neighbors must've thought I was nuts! Now i'm at a crossroads. I need to get off them - not "want" to, but know I NEED to. I can just imagine what i've done to my body and intestines/stomach over the years. BUT...I'm so dependent on them I can't. It's not just a matter of feelng good or feeling no pain anymore - I need to take them just not to get sick. My tolerance is so high that I have to take 3 soma, 2 lorcet and 2 percocet at one time just to get relief, and that usually lasts 2-3 hours, then I repeat the dose. I've tried talking to my sister, but she just does NOT understand! she thinks it's so easy. when she starts talking all I hear is "blah-blah-blah", cause it's always the same thing over and over. Someone suggested pain management, and said they'd probably put me on oxycontin or somethin like that, and that REALLY scares me!! If i have addictive tendencies with these, I sure don't want to risk it with something like that (I've heard if you over medicate it can kill you). I guess what I'm looking for is advise or suggestions from someone who's been there, trying to w/d, or even using now. Please help!!! Thanks for listening to me ramble!

Stefanie

Thanks for the support. They are dangerous and they are addicting. I didn't even do this kind of stuff as a teenager, now i'm 35 and have no control! I don't drink or smoke, but when I injured my back in a car wreck, that was it. I would've never imagined 9 yrs ago it would escalate into this. I'm not looking for an excuse, but I do blame my dr in a way. NOW, i realize that (or at least think), he's been giving me some of the meds unecessarily. The soma does help with spasms and cramping, and the percocoet helps with the pain. Once in a while, I need the restoril to sleep. I took the other meds in the beginning because he told me to, and he was the "dr." When i'd ask why so many, he said "one compliments the other". In other words, it makes the meds work better. After a year, I was pretty much hooked and since then my tolerance has just built up more and more. I mean, come on, you're giving a patient 390 pills at one visit and she calls back 2 weeks later for refills...wouldn't that raise a red flag??? He's never questioned me or refused the refills. OH, it might make a difference that this dr gets $300 for what's basically a 10 minute visit - my ins co sent me to him. I just started with the other dr about 5 mos ago, cause by the 2nd day of no meds, i'm so sick I can't move! I've never admitted ANY of this to ANYONE before, so at least I'm trying to a the first step to getting off this stuff...I just hope I can do it!!
[quote]Originally posted by rlcowboy:
Wow, you really are going through a-lot there!! but I believe you have came to the right spot, in fact I know you have! althoughI might not be the best person to give you advice but I have been on pain pills for a while now and I gotta tell ya they have my respect now, meaning I know how dangerous they can be, and addictive they are, I am currently taking oxycontin myself and I just started a pain managment clinic. One thing I wanted to ask is do you really need all that med. to help your pain? just asking because if so then you might consider other meds such as oxycontin, cause all those pills you have been taking have a-lot of tylonol and other things that will really damage your liver and kidneys, im really suprised your doctor hasnt put you on oxycontin so you wouldnt have to take all those pills, and the oxy doesnt have tylenol in it, just oxycodone, like in percocet, and it lasts for twelve hours at a time. Another thing is maybe a patch??and does either one of your Doctors know what the other is giving you??but if you think you can deal with your pain enough to live normal, you will have to get some detox help one way or the other, I just dont see how you could do it on your own, I dont even think you should consider that at all!!!The withdrawals would be really unberable for you!!!I think the first step would be to only deal with one doctor cause I think it would be bad news if either doctor finds out about the other, they probably would drop you, just stick with the one that you think will really help you and will be the most understanding!! dang, Im sorry so dang long! please keep us posted, im anxious to see what your doc says.