I haven't tried that yet, but I have an appointment with my doctor on Tuesday and I'm going to talk to him about all my meds. He also has me on xanax for social anxiety (I have it and it is severe) and I was reading that benzodiazepines are one of the most addictive drugs on the market, so I have a whole lot of stuff to talk to him about, I think he has had me on mainly SSRI, wellbutrin, celexa, paxil and all those other ones. Is it tough to change from an SSRI to an SNRI? In september I heard of a new drug, Remeron, and everyone was saying it worked really well on drug resistent depression, I tried it and had a few problems. I am still trying to pursue an athletic career and as such I try to keep my body weight constant. Remeron increased my appetite and helped me gain fifteen pounds in three weeks. My doctor had neglected to tell me of this unfortunate side effect, I still stayed on it because you have to try them for four to six weeks to get the full effect, and I got nothing but fat. It just seems every new drug I try, and every new therapy I try, nothing works. Today is Sunday and I usually go to church with my family on sundays, but the last five years I usually just go for a half hour or so and then leave. Throughout the five years if I was feeling better I would stay longer or if I was feeling bad I would leave early or not go at all. Today I feel so bad I'm not going at all, and it just hit me that I'm right back where I started, no better off. I am also going to have an extra hard time getting out of this funk because spring and summer are coming. I hate summer and spring. Finals week is next week and after that most students get a job, I can't hold down even a part time job its tough just to go to three classes a day. So I sit at home feeling just terrible for four months. I was also first diagnosed with depression in the summer and had some terrible experiences that first summer so it just brings back all those memories. This is why I was so interested in ellnyc saying he/she (sorry ellnyc, never specified sex) had lifelong depression because its been half a decade and I am right back where I started and there is no way I can make through the next half decade the same way. I can't tell you how much your situation amazes me, I could never deal with even the smallest part of what you go through, I sincerely hope that everything with your family works out well, I fully believe family is the basis of society and the most important thing in the world, and what you do to keep your family together and adopt others into your family is the most admirable thing imaginable.