22nd October 2004
If only you could of been a fly on the wall. Ive never laughed so hard in my life with the funest bunch of SOBER people in the world. I just added to the thread, " Im off to Rehab" so look on that thread too. Ok, I am detoxing and on Pheonobarb, Bentyl, Quinine, Clonidine, (the Suboxone came a few days later), Im feeling like crap in my Special Care Unit garb on, (looking real sexy with my hair messed up, no make up, a size XL scrubs on,(( I wear an XS)), and Im as pale as a sheet of paper) Im sitting in a "communtiy meeting" and jonesing for some poppy seeds. All of a sudden they ask "are there any new people in the community?" "Could you please stand up" I stand up and the community startes saying REALLY LOUD,
SKIP, SKIP, SKIP, SKIP and this guy is skipping over towards me with this big white basket with a red bow tied to it with a bunch of coins in it. Everyone in the place is stairing at us (about 100 people), and the guy is holding a peice of paper up and reading off of it he says to me " Please state your name, where your from, and your drug of NO CHOICE " I said my name, my city, and Opiates, or anything in pill form I could take to get the warm and fuzzys. THEN THE COMMUNITY SAID ALLTOGETHER AND REALLY LOUD " Hey Sara, glad your here buddy, YYYYEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAY, get down and stay sober !!!!! " Then they clapped there hands and stomped there feet.
I was thinking to myself- ok, this isent going to work. Then I made friends- which was something I was not used to because I had isolated and used for so long. There were SO many different people there. From so many different walks of life.
I have so much to tell you. It's going to take me a long time to sit down and give a tiny portion of so much Ive learned.
There is a key to soberity. I want to help everyone and tell you what It took me 31 days to learn. I was up and at the first meeting at 6:30 am every morning, and not back at my room until 11:00 everynight. (That was curfew), I worked harder than I have ever worked in my life, I was fighting for my life - and I went to every class every meeting and every focus group.
There were heroin addicts, meth addicts, alcoholics, crack users, cutters or self mutalators, opiate heads, coke heads, benzo users, baillemics, bi polars in the manic state, bi polar in the depressed state, doctors of every kind, chronic relapsers, family men, women who have lost their childern, 15 year old in the youth group, people in their 60's, rich people, poor people, people who where court mandated to be there, people who were still in denail, school teachers, this disease does not care who you are!
It was scary to see the different phases of how the disease progresses.
Im glad to be home and even happier than Ive ever been in my life. My mind is focused for the first time in my life. I tried every drug to try and feel normal my whole life when I only needed God, and the tools to stay Recoverd.
Going to bed now. Took my little melatonin... ha ha! I will talk to you all tomorrow. Boy do I have a lot of catchin up to do with my friends, family, work, and most of all my children. I curled my little girl's hair with those foam rollars tonight. Yep, Sara is doing all the "little things" which mean so much in life- that I could not or would not do b 4 because I was too busy counting my pills and getting those warm fuzzies which turning into a living nightmare.
Love you all and missed you something bad!
Love,
Sara :bouncing:
SKIP, SKIP, SKIP, SKIP and this guy is skipping over towards me with this big white basket with a red bow tied to it with a bunch of coins in it. Everyone in the place is stairing at us (about 100 people), and the guy is holding a peice of paper up and reading off of it he says to me " Please state your name, where your from, and your drug of NO CHOICE " I said my name, my city, and Opiates, or anything in pill form I could take to get the warm and fuzzys. THEN THE COMMUNITY SAID ALLTOGETHER AND REALLY LOUD " Hey Sara, glad your here buddy, YYYYEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAY, get down and stay sober !!!!! " Then they clapped there hands and stomped there feet.
I was thinking to myself- ok, this isent going to work. Then I made friends- which was something I was not used to because I had isolated and used for so long. There were SO many different people there. From so many different walks of life.
I have so much to tell you. It's going to take me a long time to sit down and give a tiny portion of so much Ive learned.
There is a key to soberity. I want to help everyone and tell you what It took me 31 days to learn. I was up and at the first meeting at 6:30 am every morning, and not back at my room until 11:00 everynight. (That was curfew), I worked harder than I have ever worked in my life, I was fighting for my life - and I went to every class every meeting and every focus group.
There were heroin addicts, meth addicts, alcoholics, crack users, cutters or self mutalators, opiate heads, coke heads, benzo users, baillemics, bi polars in the manic state, bi polar in the depressed state, doctors of every kind, chronic relapsers, family men, women who have lost their childern, 15 year old in the youth group, people in their 60's, rich people, poor people, people who where court mandated to be there, people who were still in denail, school teachers, this disease does not care who you are!
It was scary to see the different phases of how the disease progresses.
Im glad to be home and even happier than Ive ever been in my life. My mind is focused for the first time in my life. I tried every drug to try and feel normal my whole life when I only needed God, and the tools to stay Recoverd.
Going to bed now. Took my little melatonin... ha ha! I will talk to you all tomorrow. Boy do I have a lot of catchin up to do with my friends, family, work, and most of all my children. I curled my little girl's hair with those foam rollars tonight. Yep, Sara is doing all the "little things" which mean so much in life- that I could not or would not do b 4 because I was too busy counting my pills and getting those warm fuzzies which turning into a living nightmare.
Love you all and missed you something bad!
Love,
Sara :bouncing: