30th October 2005
Hey blurayne< :wave:
I promise you will feel physically better within about two weeks. But the first 5 days usually is the worst of it. The mental stuff is harder and longer. For recovering addicts it's a lifelong job. You will have many, many good days ahead and the bad ones get fewer and further between. If you have beaten heroin addiction in the past and have relapsed with another drug, then you know the mental stuff is what got you back where you are today. I'm sorry you're not strong enough to go to NA meetings. But you know yourself and if you're afraid of hooking up with the wrong folks don't go. There are however, online NA meetings/12 step programs (just search the net). There are meetings online every night. Also addiction and recovery online chat groups. To be successful at recovery we must learn how to deal with life on lifes terms. We have to have a new way of thinking. We can't hold in resentments, anger, guilt.
It doesn't matter how much or what you have taken in regards to telling your family. They don't necessarily need to know and what good would it do if they did. You have to make the decision of what and how much you share with anyone. But I do think that you need to take care of yourself. And if that means telling them you're sick and staying home then so be it. You are sick!! That would't be telling them a lie. If you have read a lot of post then you know to treat your symptoms - Aches/pain - advil, aleve, Nausea - dramamine or phenergan, Sleep issues - Benadryl, Tylenol PM, Melatonin. Lots of hot baths or showers. Drink fluids so not to get hydrated. Eat when you can, even 2-3 bites every few hours will help you not to lose strength. When we are tired it makes fighting this battle even worse. Try sitting or taking a short walk in the warm sunshine, sleeping with a heating pad or blanket. Another thing I have never posted before is pet therapy. My friend that I'm living with has a puppy. I spend time playing and loving it. Animals (especially kittens and puppies around 5-7 months old) give us unconditional love. Think about what helps you emotionally and do it. I spent most waking hours on this message board and other addiction/recovery sites during the beginning of my recovery - just 74 days ago due to the fact I had no transportation to go to meetings, etc.
The anger you are describing. I assume it is at yourself for relapsing. It is a must that you forgive yourself to get rid of this anger. We have all been there and know exactly how angry you are at yourself. We tend to beat ourselves up much worse than anyone else can. Part of the recovery process is to forgive and let go. You can't change the past. But you sure can move in the right direction in the future. Choices - that's what we are faced with everyday. If we focus on anger, guilt and resentments, we will use again.
Hang on tight and we'll be here to support you every step of the way.
I promise you will feel physically better within about two weeks. But the first 5 days usually is the worst of it. The mental stuff is harder and longer. For recovering addicts it's a lifelong job. You will have many, many good days ahead and the bad ones get fewer and further between. If you have beaten heroin addiction in the past and have relapsed with another drug, then you know the mental stuff is what got you back where you are today. I'm sorry you're not strong enough to go to NA meetings. But you know yourself and if you're afraid of hooking up with the wrong folks don't go. There are however, online NA meetings/12 step programs (just search the net). There are meetings online every night. Also addiction and recovery online chat groups. To be successful at recovery we must learn how to deal with life on lifes terms. We have to have a new way of thinking. We can't hold in resentments, anger, guilt.
It doesn't matter how much or what you have taken in regards to telling your family. They don't necessarily need to know and what good would it do if they did. You have to make the decision of what and how much you share with anyone. But I do think that you need to take care of yourself. And if that means telling them you're sick and staying home then so be it. You are sick!! That would't be telling them a lie. If you have read a lot of post then you know to treat your symptoms - Aches/pain - advil, aleve, Nausea - dramamine or phenergan, Sleep issues - Benadryl, Tylenol PM, Melatonin. Lots of hot baths or showers. Drink fluids so not to get hydrated. Eat when you can, even 2-3 bites every few hours will help you not to lose strength. When we are tired it makes fighting this battle even worse. Try sitting or taking a short walk in the warm sunshine, sleeping with a heating pad or blanket. Another thing I have never posted before is pet therapy. My friend that I'm living with has a puppy. I spend time playing and loving it. Animals (especially kittens and puppies around 5-7 months old) give us unconditional love. Think about what helps you emotionally and do it. I spent most waking hours on this message board and other addiction/recovery sites during the beginning of my recovery - just 74 days ago due to the fact I had no transportation to go to meetings, etc.
The anger you are describing. I assume it is at yourself for relapsing. It is a must that you forgive yourself to get rid of this anger. We have all been there and know exactly how angry you are at yourself. We tend to beat ourselves up much worse than anyone else can. Part of the recovery process is to forgive and let go. You can't change the past. But you sure can move in the right direction in the future. Choices - that's what we are faced with everyday. If we focus on anger, guilt and resentments, we will use again.
Hang on tight and we'll be here to support you every step of the way.