Quote from BeginAgain:

Hang in there Gina. You CAN do this. Don't give in in 5 days when your supply is available. Cut off those sources. If you can make it 5 days you can do this. I have faith in you. I know I don't know you but from what I've read here you are just like the rest of us and I think on some level you really want to do this. Stay strong!!! Fight!!! We are here for you. Whatever you do don't quit. Post, post, post....we will do our best to talk you down. Really consider giving NA a try, it's a hard step but it's a lifesaver to have that support and guidance from people who have been there. Let us know how you are. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

OMG!!! I can't imagine how hard it must be for people downing 20 pills a day to go CT!! I am so freakin sick! I almost admitted myself last night. I took the Imodium, Zoloft, Naproxen, Xanax and some left over Phenergan I had.
You guys, I'm so sorry but I had to get 5 pills to get me through this. I took one in halves yesterday and I've already taken one today. This is good because I would take up to 10 depending on the strength of Tylenol in them. When I start hurting intensely again, I will take Naproxen or Ibuprofen instead. I'll have 3 pills remaining then I'll go down to halves a day.
The sad part is, I'm detoxing for the wrong reason, I think. It's not because I 100% want to, it's because I ran out. I'm so sorry. It hurts so much. My stomach is cramping so badly. Please keep praying for me.
I keep telling myself, "Oh, when I get my script in 5 days, I can control it." Why do I freakin doubt that?!?!?!? I need to go to N/A. My hubby doesn’t want me to because he's afraid I'll run into someone who understands me better and I'll leave him. Stupid, I know but I understand what he means. He wants me to get through this with him. He doesn't understand that a NON ADDICT can't help as much as the addict. Talk to me please.

Quote from GinaMia:

OMG!!! I can't imagine how hard it must be for people downing 20 pills a day to go CT!! I am so freakin sick! I almost admitted myself last night. I took the Imodium, Zoloft, Naproxen, Xanax and some left over Phenergan I had.
You guys, I'm so sorry but I had to get 5 pills to get me through this. I took one in halves yesterday and I've already taken one today. This is good because I would take up to 10 depending on the strength of Tylenol in them. When I start hurting intensely again, I will take Naproxen or Ibuprofen instead. I'll have 3 pills remaining then I'll go down to halves a day.
The sad part is, I'm detoxing for the wrong reason, I think. It's not because I 100% want to, it's because I ran out. I'm so sorry. It hurts so much. My stomach is cramping so badly. Please keep praying for me.
I keep telling myself, "Oh, when I get my script in 5 days, I can control it." Why do I freakin doubt that?!?!?!? I need to go to N/A. My hubby doesn’t want me to because he's afraid I'll run into someone who understands me better and I'll leave him. Stupid, I know but I understand what he means. He wants me to get through this with him. He doesn't understand that a NON ADDICT can't help as much as the addict. Talk to me please.

Gina,

When we make the decision to get clean of whatever drug(s) we were dependant on, it changes the dynamics of the relationship with our spouse to some degree, depending on the people and the situation. I'm going through the same thing with my wife right now, she has some health issues herself, (weight and "female" type issues), and she's used to me just hanging around the house chilling out with her during all my spare time, but now I feel the need to get out of the house quite a bit and just take time for myself. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my wife dearly, but I can't just lay around the house being a sloth any more, because that's what I did when I used, that's all I wanted to do. Now, that my body and spirit are healing, I feel this tremendous amount of energy within me both emotionally and especially physically. If I started to do this again, this would be a trigger for me, because I would want to have that "chilling' feeling again, and using again is the last thing I ever want to do. So, I sometimes leave and go to the library, putz around border's book store, best buy, etc; these are the things I used to do before I started using, it was, and now is again, a way of emotionally taking care of myself. This week, I'm about to begin my workouts again, I used to be really into bodybuilding, but that was put on the back-burner, along with other things, 4 years ago, when I picked up my opiate habit. I went out alone and did these things alone for the first time in years (when my wife was home) and I came home a couple hours later, only to get the third degree from my wife for not staying home and spending time with her! In my opinion, she was trying to project her own selfishness onto myself, and I told her in so many words that I won't have that. But hopefully, that will pass after she gets her gastric bypass surgery done and drops a considerable amount of weight, as her self-esteem is really negatively affected by her obesity. I hope you can work things out with your husband, because getting clean, and I thing you realize this now, is something you have to do, or you're simply going to die a premature and needless death some years down the line. Take care.