Dear Sara....How are you doing lately...? I must first apologize for not posting
sooner....I am sorry my friend and I appreciate you so much " calling out
to me in posting how I am doing today...." I appreciate your friendship ,
kindness ,empathy,words of wisdom and encouragement so much very
much my friend...I will never forget your kindness and I will always be there
for you and your family...I read everyones posts last night over and over..
it kept me from using !!!...As for today I am happy to report I am still on
track 100 %...taking Wellbutrin XL 300 mg/day ,Fluoxetine 40mg/day and
down to 10 mg Valium/today ( still on my taper )...However I did call my
doctor today and get an rx for Phenergan 25 mg tab ( altho it is a phenothiazine...rather sedating ,it is a good anti-emetic..)..I am not throwing
up or nauseous...I just cant eat at all..even the mere sight of food turns
my stomach and I have absolutely no appetite at all...I spoke with my
doctor today about it and both him and I are somewhat concerned at all
the weight I have lost in the last six months..almost 50 lbs and I fear I
have even lost more weight since I last saw him recently..we went over the
results of physical..blood work and everything was great..CBC ,TSH,Liver
Panel ,BP ...altho my pulse is running alittle high compared to my past
clinical hx...however ,both him and I attributed it to my recent emotional
turmoil ,emotional and verbal abuse ,etc from my ex...He wanted to rx me
Marinol ( basically pharmaceutically pure THC ...used clinically mostly for
cancer pts ,eating disorders to stimulate appetite )..however I never used
" street drugs ,etc " and was uncomfortable personally using that med so
I convinced him to let me try the phenergan instead...so wish me luck in
trying to gain some weight back my friend...I took everyones advice and
left a message for a very close friend of mine to call me ASAP last night
and she called first thing this morning and I explained everything that was
going on with my ex and she called me back shortly and she called off work..
was over this morning within an hour with her daughter and she took me to
my attorney , bank , and then even went and picked up my phenergan rx
for me and also went grocery shopping for me... and her and her daughter
even helped me shower ,clean up around the house ,do laundry ,etc....She
even called me twice tonight to " check on me " and is coming over tomorrow
with some " books , CDS , and some homemade caseroles she is making for
me.."...I do not yet know how I will ever repay her kindness and friendship
but somehow I wll think of something...I guess I have come to realize over
the last 7 yrs..I have " always given and not received at least in reference
to my ex.."...I have to admit my depression is winning right now - overwhelming sadness ,despair and many bouts of crying...I am in a very
dark and scarey place right now for the first time in my life and it is really
scarey and frightening...however, I am determined to fight and once again
find peace ,happiness and hope.....Thank you Sara..just so you know altho
I did not post earlier...you have been in my thoughts and prayers today as
always and I am always wishing ,praying and thinking of everyone here on this
board daily....truly wishing everyone the best...recovery of the mind ,soul ,
body, spirit and better days ahead for all.....

Love...Chris :angel: