21st February 2003
Lonelyiz..I am not depressed and I dont hate my life..I am a parent of 3 lovely daughters 21,18 and 12. My 18 year old sees a counselor for depression and anxiety. She was in an abusive relationship with an idiot that constantly put her down, pushed her around, told her she was fat, ugly and stupid. I mean everyday for 2 years. She hid this from myself and her older sister of course because we wouldnt have let it go on. My daughter is beautiful, not overweight, and definatly not stupid. I always praised my girls for everything they did in school and sports activities. I taught them that inside thier hearts is where beauty counts. I taught them that its ok to get C's in school as long as they felt they were doing thier best and I made sure they know that I will always love them for who they are not for what they can accomplish. I know you are probably wondering where I am going with this well this is my point. Ashley my 18 year old full of love and self condidence but not selfish or arrogant. Good in school always did her best but wasnt an A student. Smiled all the time and was always kind and outgoing with other people.
Now she is unsure of herself and questions her intellegence. Constantly weighing herself thinking she is fat. Short tempered and mean with her little sister and myself at times. Crying at the drop of a hat. Mentions she is ugly and wishes she was rich so she could have plastic surgery. Questions my love for her....The wonderful girl I raised to be healthy and happy disapeared with the wave of an evil ignorant idiot boyfriend that bullied and controlled her into thinking she isnt worth being loved. I do not mean to disrespect your parents in anyway but how you feel about yourself and your unhappiness IS NOT your fault!!! It is thiers!! If you constantly hear critisisum you are going to end up being your own worst critic. If all you hear is negative things about yourself thats all your going to feel about yourself...If you constantly hear that you are ugly...ugliness is what you are going to see when you look in the mirror. Unfortunatly we thrive on acceptance from others ESPECIALLY our familes, our parents and our friends. The first thing I would advise you to do is find a good therapist or counselor! Second talk to an adult you can trust..an aunt or uncle, grandparent, teacher, guidence counselor and talk to them about your feelings and how it makes you feel when your parents talk to you like you are stupid and never give you credit where it is due. Everything you need to talk about try and talk to this person and then maybe this person will talk to you parents and make them see the damage they are doing to how you feel about yourself and your life. They (your parents) are supposed to be adults and realize they are supposed to treat you with the same love and respect they expect from you. They are supposed to be loving and kind and encouraging and be proud of you for anything you acomplish as long as you did the best you can do in your mind not thiers. I hope you will try some of what I have suggested and get your life back to being happy. I saw my daughter go from a happy child to an unhappy young woman all because of some controling idiot. We are doing our best to change that for her and make her happy. We all go to her counsiling sessions with her...we constantly tell her we love and encourage her..and she now has a wonderful boyfriend for the last year that is always there for her and is never mean. Life can change for the better but the first step to change it has to be YOURS. Please keep us posted on how you are doing and if you ever want to talk just leave a post I am sure you will get alot of replies. Take care of yourself.
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Cheers...Autumn
Female...42
TMJD...12 years
Anxiety/Panic Attacks (cured I hope)
Total Abdominal Hysterectomy Ovaries left intact due to endometrial bleeding after miscarriage (2002)
Hernia Repair(1998)
Apendectomy (infected) 1988
Just Dx with multiple ovarian cysts..having C-125 test done for possible malignancy.
21 year old daughter born with Mullerian Aplasia.
18 yr old daughter bulimia survivor.
Pain Management- Oxycontin 20mg twice a day..Percocet for bt. 2 mg Dilaudid at bedtime.
" Wishing all a pain free day"
Now she is unsure of herself and questions her intellegence. Constantly weighing herself thinking she is fat. Short tempered and mean with her little sister and myself at times. Crying at the drop of a hat. Mentions she is ugly and wishes she was rich so she could have plastic surgery. Questions my love for her....The wonderful girl I raised to be healthy and happy disapeared with the wave of an evil ignorant idiot boyfriend that bullied and controlled her into thinking she isnt worth being loved. I do not mean to disrespect your parents in anyway but how you feel about yourself and your unhappiness IS NOT your fault!!! It is thiers!! If you constantly hear critisisum you are going to end up being your own worst critic. If all you hear is negative things about yourself thats all your going to feel about yourself...If you constantly hear that you are ugly...ugliness is what you are going to see when you look in the mirror. Unfortunatly we thrive on acceptance from others ESPECIALLY our familes, our parents and our friends. The first thing I would advise you to do is find a good therapist or counselor! Second talk to an adult you can trust..an aunt or uncle, grandparent, teacher, guidence counselor and talk to them about your feelings and how it makes you feel when your parents talk to you like you are stupid and never give you credit where it is due. Everything you need to talk about try and talk to this person and then maybe this person will talk to you parents and make them see the damage they are doing to how you feel about yourself and your life. They (your parents) are supposed to be adults and realize they are supposed to treat you with the same love and respect they expect from you. They are supposed to be loving and kind and encouraging and be proud of you for anything you acomplish as long as you did the best you can do in your mind not thiers. I hope you will try some of what I have suggested and get your life back to being happy. I saw my daughter go from a happy child to an unhappy young woman all because of some controling idiot. We are doing our best to change that for her and make her happy. We all go to her counsiling sessions with her...we constantly tell her we love and encourage her..and she now has a wonderful boyfriend for the last year that is always there for her and is never mean. Life can change for the better but the first step to change it has to be YOURS. Please keep us posted on how you are doing and if you ever want to talk just leave a post I am sure you will get alot of replies. Take care of yourself.
------------------
Cheers...Autumn
Female...42
TMJD...12 years
Anxiety/Panic Attacks (cured I hope)
Total Abdominal Hysterectomy Ovaries left intact due to endometrial bleeding after miscarriage (2002)
Hernia Repair(1998)
Apendectomy (infected) 1988
Just Dx with multiple ovarian cysts..having C-125 test done for possible malignancy.
21 year old daughter born with Mullerian Aplasia.
18 yr old daughter bulimia survivor.
Pain Management- Oxycontin 20mg twice a day..Percocet for bt. 2 mg Dilaudid at bedtime.
" Wishing all a pain free day"