3rd July 2007
nightowl2,
Too much talking and not enough listening is common for people with ADD.
As I read in some of the other threads on this Board, it has something to do with the frontal cerebral cortex which is supposed to have control over decision-making and other activities of the brain. This functions poorly in people with ADD, with the result that we are so busy paying attention to sorting out our jumbled thoughts and trying to get them out in some semblance of order, that we don't notice whether the brilliant discourse we are babbling on about is even relevant to the rest of the conversation or whether anyone is even interested in what we are saying.
I have described it as having great difficulty paying attention to both what is happening on the inside (my own thoughts and feelings) AND what is happening on the outside (other people's reactions) at the same time.
It goes with the territory of having ADD. With a lot of practice at noticing when someone's eyes are glazing over, you can (at least sometimes) remember to tell yourself "OK, I'm going to smash my lips together and not open them until there's a pause in the other person's speech." With a bit more practice, you can learn to actually pay attention to what the other person is saying (on good days) so that when you do open your mouth you are responding in an appropriate manner. It takes practice. Years of it.
At the moment I am on a low dosage of methylphenidate (generic Ritalin). It is helping me to remember to pay attention to when I need to keep my mouth shut and listen. It isn't a solution. I still have to give instructions to my brain to add this activity (shutting up) to the list of activities that go along with having a social discussion. I'm still practicing.
You're not alone.
--Rheanna
Too much talking and not enough listening is common for people with ADD.
As I read in some of the other threads on this Board, it has something to do with the frontal cerebral cortex which is supposed to have control over decision-making and other activities of the brain. This functions poorly in people with ADD, with the result that we are so busy paying attention to sorting out our jumbled thoughts and trying to get them out in some semblance of order, that we don't notice whether the brilliant discourse we are babbling on about is even relevant to the rest of the conversation or whether anyone is even interested in what we are saying.
I have described it as having great difficulty paying attention to both what is happening on the inside (my own thoughts and feelings) AND what is happening on the outside (other people's reactions) at the same time.
It goes with the territory of having ADD. With a lot of practice at noticing when someone's eyes are glazing over, you can (at least sometimes) remember to tell yourself "OK, I'm going to smash my lips together and not open them until there's a pause in the other person's speech." With a bit more practice, you can learn to actually pay attention to what the other person is saying (on good days) so that when you do open your mouth you are responding in an appropriate manner. It takes practice. Years of it.
At the moment I am on a low dosage of methylphenidate (generic Ritalin). It is helping me to remember to pay attention to when I need to keep my mouth shut and listen. It isn't a solution. I still have to give instructions to my brain to add this activity (shutting up) to the list of activities that go along with having a social discussion. I'm still practicing.
You're not alone.
--Rheanna