2nd April 2004
Hello Jufy,
Now - for starters - we cannot exchange email addresses within these boards - rules!
Perhaps I should just quickly recap on my experience.
I had been prescribed ativan following a family bereavement.
I started off taking 1 mg ativan at night for sleep and then this became 2 - 3 mg at night for sleep. Now that is what I took - 2/3 mg of ativan every night - nothing during the day - for over 2 years.
I finally decided I wanted to quit - tried c/t with dire results - found the benzo org site and Ashton .......... took the advice and did a classical Ashton taper. ie I changed over to valium (with a very long half life) and then tapered off slowly over the next 8 months. I had been lucky in finding the benzo org site and in fact when I presented myself at my doctors as an emergency in full florid withdrawal - she agreed with the proposals which I had taken from Ashton. In fact the British National Formulary states precisely the same method for benzo withdrawal.
Now - to be brutally honest - I found the taper pretty difficult. But everyone is so very different. Ashton claims that people can taper and continue about their lives as usual. I'm afraid that it was not like that for me. I suffered a full 8 months of flu! I had tremors, sweats, muscle and bone aches, fatigue, terrible lethargy, depression etc. Many of the symptoms as described on page 36 of the Manual.
However, I did do it.......... what I am trying to say is that it is doable! I just did my best to get thro one day at a time. And I did. But I had to take it very easy as much as I could. I cut my work back to a minimum (I am lucky in that I work at home), took as much exercise as I could (which wasnt very much!) and as much rest too as I could take. But the symptoms are so very variable. They "wax and wane - varying in severity and type from day to day, week to week, and even during the course of a day. Some symptoms go; others may take their place...... Typically "Windows" of normality, when you feel positively well for a few hours or days, appear after some weeks; gradually the "Windows" become more frequent and last longer, while any intervening discomfort ebbs away".
The biggest problem of the withdrawal is that it goes on and on. There is no easy way out - you simply dont have the choice of c/t and the taper has to be slow if you want to avoid bad withdrawals and even persisting symptoms if you taper too fast.
But - it is so very worthwhile! You have no idea how much better you feel when you are finally off these mind/mood altering drugs. Dont ever doubt it!
Yes - I said that ativan is a soul destroying drug.......... it is only supposed to be prescribed for 2 - 4 months and after that it loses its efficacy........... and the drug may well "turn against" you - delivering side effects like anxiety, insomnia, depression, headaches.... etc - in fact many of the reasons for which people are actually put on the ativan in the first instance. (called paradoxical effects)
I found that I became "emotionally anaesthetized" - in that I was
unable to feel pleasure or pain - I stopped responding emotionally
to my family or friends........... I was simply "not there" for them.
In fact - one of the comments from the family when I finally quit was "It's nice to have you back again!" All this without my ever realising it was going on and that it was all caused by the ativan.
Now - this has been my personal experience - everyone is different. Some people have a much easier time getting off and many people find it more difficult than I did.
You might find it useful to join the benzo org uk private forum where there is all manner of people coming off all brands of benzo - from the very potent xanax to the long lasting valium. (xanax, klonopin, dalmane, mogadon, serax, restoril, valium etc)
You will be able to speak with people who are doing the exact same taper as yourself and to speak to those who have successfully withdrawn.
Now - given that you have been taking ativan for 9 years - I would imagine that you will have to take your withdrawal really slowly. Have you looked at page 28 of Ashton? It has a schedule there for withdrawal from lorazepam (Ativan) 3 mg daily with diazepam (Valium) substitution. (3 mg lorazepam = approx 30 mg diazepam).
Now you will see that this involves dropping the dosage in small increments (about 10%) every 1 - 2 weeks. So you can work out that this is going to take the best part of a year - give or take - to taper off. (note - I managed in 8 months)
As to summer holidays etc.......... what is generally suggested is that you embark on your taper, let the effects of each reduction pass before moving on to the next. Sometimes you can manage to do this every week or fortnight (I could do it every 10 days as a rule). If you have a holiday or something else important happening in your life - its suggested that you just "hold" at the dosage you are at without making a reduction. And to resume your taper after the holiday. But NEVER to go up/back in your dosage. You must keep going forward.
So - really - there is no good time to start this taper really? It has to become part of your life for the next year or whatever.......... The slower the taper - the less the withdrawals. So - slow and steady wins the race!
But I would urge you to talk to the folks in the benzo org room - there are many people in there (in fact the majority) who are from the US. I needed the daily support that I found in there. You will have difficulty in the US with finding a doctor who will prescribe valium (due to its previous bad press), and doctors will say that valium is so addictive!!! LOL And I suppose ativan is not???? Daft. Anyway - the whole point of substituting with a benzo with long half life is to be able to make small smooth reductions in blood serum concentrations. With xanax and ativan that is just not possible - because of short half life - and valium needs only to be taken once a day. I have no idea what your doctor is thinking of or talking about. But - if I were you - I would print out the schedule from Ashton and the reasons for the substitution and take it with you to the docs. If he refuses you valium then you might think of seeking advice from another doctor - and here you might get help in the benzo org forum from other people in the US who have managed to find someone willing to use valium. In general, doctors in the US appear to be incredibly uninformed about benzo withdrawal. But the profits from prescribing valium are mimimal (dead cheap pills) as opposed to xanax - which are very expensive and humungously profitable!!! That might just have something to do with it!
Anyway - hope this helps a bit? If I can answer anything else - just ask. I dont think there is any way of predicting how any individual's taper will go - all so variable. But its so so good to be free of these awful drugs - I just promise you that. You have your life back again.
So - be positive - go forward courageously in your taper - never looking back.............. and this time next year we could be chatting about how glad we are to be free.................!
Y
Now - for starters - we cannot exchange email addresses within these boards - rules!
Perhaps I should just quickly recap on my experience.
I had been prescribed ativan following a family bereavement.
I started off taking 1 mg ativan at night for sleep and then this became 2 - 3 mg at night for sleep. Now that is what I took - 2/3 mg of ativan every night - nothing during the day - for over 2 years.
I finally decided I wanted to quit - tried c/t with dire results - found the benzo org site and Ashton .......... took the advice and did a classical Ashton taper. ie I changed over to valium (with a very long half life) and then tapered off slowly over the next 8 months. I had been lucky in finding the benzo org site and in fact when I presented myself at my doctors as an emergency in full florid withdrawal - she agreed with the proposals which I had taken from Ashton. In fact the British National Formulary states precisely the same method for benzo withdrawal.
Now - to be brutally honest - I found the taper pretty difficult. But everyone is so very different. Ashton claims that people can taper and continue about their lives as usual. I'm afraid that it was not like that for me. I suffered a full 8 months of flu! I had tremors, sweats, muscle and bone aches, fatigue, terrible lethargy, depression etc. Many of the symptoms as described on page 36 of the Manual.
However, I did do it.......... what I am trying to say is that it is doable! I just did my best to get thro one day at a time. And I did. But I had to take it very easy as much as I could. I cut my work back to a minimum (I am lucky in that I work at home), took as much exercise as I could (which wasnt very much!) and as much rest too as I could take. But the symptoms are so very variable. They "wax and wane - varying in severity and type from day to day, week to week, and even during the course of a day. Some symptoms go; others may take their place...... Typically "Windows" of normality, when you feel positively well for a few hours or days, appear after some weeks; gradually the "Windows" become more frequent and last longer, while any intervening discomfort ebbs away".
The biggest problem of the withdrawal is that it goes on and on. There is no easy way out - you simply dont have the choice of c/t and the taper has to be slow if you want to avoid bad withdrawals and even persisting symptoms if you taper too fast.
But - it is so very worthwhile! You have no idea how much better you feel when you are finally off these mind/mood altering drugs. Dont ever doubt it!
Yes - I said that ativan is a soul destroying drug.......... it is only supposed to be prescribed for 2 - 4 months and after that it loses its efficacy........... and the drug may well "turn against" you - delivering side effects like anxiety, insomnia, depression, headaches.... etc - in fact many of the reasons for which people are actually put on the ativan in the first instance. (called paradoxical effects)
I found that I became "emotionally anaesthetized" - in that I was
unable to feel pleasure or pain - I stopped responding emotionally
to my family or friends........... I was simply "not there" for them.
In fact - one of the comments from the family when I finally quit was "It's nice to have you back again!" All this without my ever realising it was going on and that it was all caused by the ativan.
Now - this has been my personal experience - everyone is different. Some people have a much easier time getting off and many people find it more difficult than I did.
You might find it useful to join the benzo org uk private forum where there is all manner of people coming off all brands of benzo - from the very potent xanax to the long lasting valium. (xanax, klonopin, dalmane, mogadon, serax, restoril, valium etc)
You will be able to speak with people who are doing the exact same taper as yourself and to speak to those who have successfully withdrawn.
Now - given that you have been taking ativan for 9 years - I would imagine that you will have to take your withdrawal really slowly. Have you looked at page 28 of Ashton? It has a schedule there for withdrawal from lorazepam (Ativan) 3 mg daily with diazepam (Valium) substitution. (3 mg lorazepam = approx 30 mg diazepam).
Now you will see that this involves dropping the dosage in small increments (about 10%) every 1 - 2 weeks. So you can work out that this is going to take the best part of a year - give or take - to taper off. (note - I managed in 8 months)
As to summer holidays etc.......... what is generally suggested is that you embark on your taper, let the effects of each reduction pass before moving on to the next. Sometimes you can manage to do this every week or fortnight (I could do it every 10 days as a rule). If you have a holiday or something else important happening in your life - its suggested that you just "hold" at the dosage you are at without making a reduction. And to resume your taper after the holiday. But NEVER to go up/back in your dosage. You must keep going forward.
So - really - there is no good time to start this taper really? It has to become part of your life for the next year or whatever.......... The slower the taper - the less the withdrawals. So - slow and steady wins the race!
But I would urge you to talk to the folks in the benzo org room - there are many people in there (in fact the majority) who are from the US. I needed the daily support that I found in there. You will have difficulty in the US with finding a doctor who will prescribe valium (due to its previous bad press), and doctors will say that valium is so addictive!!! LOL And I suppose ativan is not???? Daft. Anyway - the whole point of substituting with a benzo with long half life is to be able to make small smooth reductions in blood serum concentrations. With xanax and ativan that is just not possible - because of short half life - and valium needs only to be taken once a day. I have no idea what your doctor is thinking of or talking about. But - if I were you - I would print out the schedule from Ashton and the reasons for the substitution and take it with you to the docs. If he refuses you valium then you might think of seeking advice from another doctor - and here you might get help in the benzo org forum from other people in the US who have managed to find someone willing to use valium. In general, doctors in the US appear to be incredibly uninformed about benzo withdrawal. But the profits from prescribing valium are mimimal (dead cheap pills) as opposed to xanax - which are very expensive and humungously profitable!!! That might just have something to do with it!
Anyway - hope this helps a bit? If I can answer anything else - just ask. I dont think there is any way of predicting how any individual's taper will go - all so variable. But its so so good to be free of these awful drugs - I just promise you that. You have your life back again.
So - be positive - go forward courageously in your taper - never looking back.............. and this time next year we could be chatting about how glad we are to be free.................!
Y