Brian, I understand how you are feeling right now and how you want answers to your questions. My 81 yr old mother non smoker was diagnosed with NSCLC stage IIIb last July. It was discovered when she developed a pleural effusion . We were told that at that stage there is no cure and it felt like the world came crashing down upon us. My mom has no other health issues and was very active , yet her doctor seemed to see only an elderly woman and said Chemo would be very difficult on her and had a good chance of killing her. He did not want to say how much time she had left but said if the chemo worked perhaps a year or maybe even 2 years. Not wanting to just lay there and let the cancer win she opted for the chemo and did well with it, she never got sick from it but she was exhausted all the time and pretty much sat and did nothing for months. When the cancer seemed stable they stopped the chemo to give her a " vacation: from it however 2 months later her CT showed the cancer had progressed and her one Liver met had now had numerous other liver mets with it.( she has not had mets to any other organs or bones). At this point she was very run down which the doctor wanted to write off to the Cancer: however it turned out she had a pneumonia and urinary tract infection so was treated for those and offered a 2nd line chemo or Iressa. She opted for Iressa and at about that time Tarceva came on the market so he switched her to Tarceva the next month. Within days she started feeling better first from the infections being treated then from the drug. Two months on the Tarceva and she feels great and is once again very active and is breathing very well again. Her CT last month showed shrinkage in the lung tumor and liver met and some of the liver mets are no longer visible, there is even improvement in the loculated pleural effusion that has been ther since her pleurodesis last summer to prevent the recurrent effusions. She has had dramatic improvement, We do not know how long it will last but instead are learning to be grateful for each day we do have. No tarceva will not cure her but it may buy her much more quality time yet when we started our adventure it was not even on the market so you never know what may happen in what ever time your father has left. A very good doctor friend of mine advised me not to let the doctor tell my mom how much time she has left as # 1 he does not really know and #2 she thinks some people then set their own death but what time table the doctor gave them.So my advice to you is take it a day at a time. Yes it is hard but let me ask you this do you know how much time you have left? NO I did not think so so in a way you and your dad are on equal playing fields there as neither of you know how much time you have. I do believe that family support and prayer help too so god bless you and your family and make what ever time your dad has left quality time as that is what is really important. Best wishes.