11th April 2003
My father was on compazine for the nausea from the chemo and it seemed to help but the doctors are just keeping the family in the dark and the patient. I got so angry when my dads oncologist would not look my dad in the eye and tell him okay this is what we are looking at. "Your cancer is metastised and your cancer is very agressive and there is no cure and with out more chemo and the new drug Iressa you are looking at 1-3 months" its been 4 weeks and now we are down to weeks if that. He -the doctor- wrote it down and handed it to my father and still didnt tell him the specifics,. All they want to do is more chemo more this more that and I feel they use these cancer patients as a experiment to see how they can finally find a cure for cancer, but you now the government blows billions of dollars for space and they cant take money out of there own greedy pockets to help find an effective cure. I am sorry I am just so mad that millions of people are dying and suffering and these doctors make millions of dollars of year and all they do is save a few and statistically thats about it. Sorry so much for your pain. My dad will be leaving me soon and I am angry, and hurt please forgive my anger and pray for me to channel my anger some other way. God Bless . My dad is now on oxycotin and loratabs and xanax's , ambien , prednisone, cumiden, hydrocodone elixer, water pills and if it werent for hospice all of his savings in the bank would be gone by now , Hospice is a blessing, they are paying for all of his meds, all of his equipment and the doctor comes to the house and his nurse we will be on 24 hour nursing system before too long when the pain gets passed what he can take by mouth, I know one thing by taking care of my father and I mean litteraly tending to his every need, from bathing him , wiping him if he needs it, changing him, just around the clock care, I will in return go home when this is over and go into CNA and give to others, in my fathers memory.
