Maggie;

Hi. I decided to start another thread to avoid breaking the inegrity of the one that we were posting in. It didnt start as a "me talking to you thread" lol
anyway, i am the exact same way - i screwed up already by eating badly, taking more pills than i should, or whatever i screwed for that day; so now my whole day is shot so why even try today.. tomorrow is another day. i HATE that addictive thinking !!!!
im having a hard time staying on the one mg. i cant seem to make it through the day... so i end up taking more later on in the day cuz im feeling sick. i do agree with you that the sub definitely gives me more migraines. i get them once in a while, but not on a regular basis; and imitrex works for me. but i've been getting them on a regular basis since beginning the sub and the imitrex is not working for them now !!!
do you notice that you are feeling exhausted a lot on the sub? do you feel like you are having a hard time staying awake in the middle of the day? im just wondering b/c this has been happening to me. and i find myself so exhausted by 1 or 2 that i've got to find a way to get home and take a nap. i've even gone to the park to take a nap in my car in between clients !!! i havent told anyone about it. it sounds so bad, i thought i was supposed to be getting better !!!
thank you so much for your response, and please keep me posted with your taper. i will say a special prayer for you tonight maggie. God Bless.

Michelle :angel:

Hey There!
I like that you started a new thread. I don't know about you, but finding which one i last posted in, or remembering if someone wrote back on another one gets confusing and sometimes i miss if someone wrote back. So this is good to keep track of "our" talks.
It's funny that you said you drive to park to take naps between clients. I've always been a very tired person. But having been on some type of narcotics for over 7yrs., i wonder if it's all due to them. I know i've never been a hyper person or one who has all this bubbling energy...but i also can think back to before i began taking opiates and remember that it wasn't as hard to get thru the day as it is now. But what's weird for me, is that when i take the sub., i actually get a burst of energy. Well, i call it a "burst" only bcuz it is the only bit of energy i feel all day. It lasts around 2-3 hrs. And that is the MAIN reason i am addicted. That is why i initially became addicted to Lorcet.
I found myself being able to "get up and go" a lot easier than i used to and i took them and "ran with it". Of course, as time goes on and the tolerance goes up, i stopped having that "high" i initially had and found myself taking more to try and get that energy i craved so much.
I really believe that if i could find a way to help my lack of energy, it would be easier to stay away from narcotics. It's weird bcuz from what i've heard the narcotics are actually supposed to make people tired. But for me, they always gave me energy.
I can remember taking them for the 1st time when i had wisdom teeth removed and i was told i would be very "sleepy" while on them. Not me.....I was doing laundry, dancing around, making phone calls, accomplishing so much more than i would without. And then i was hooked!!!!!
So with the sub., it actually gives me a boost of energy, but it is short lived. And maybe i am actually MORE tired after i come down from the "high" but i don't realize that bcuz i'm so used to being on something.
I sit here and find myself being envious of my girlfriends and others who are able to wake up in morning and have a full day of activities without anything in their system. I'm always wishing i were them. And even though i know that "the grass isn't greener" i atleast wish i had their energy.
That is my biggest fear of coming off these entirely. And of course, my main reason of stopping now is i want to try for a baby again (had 2 misc. last yr). So having that pregnancy fatigue along with my normal fatigue is scaring me to death!!!!!!!!
Like right now, i am working (it is 9:30am) and i could take a 3hr nap EASILY!!
It sucks!
Anyways, sorry to go off on such a tangent. It's just that when u mentioned you being so tired, i related soooo much and it struck a raw cord in me.
I had a bad day yesterday and i took an extra 4mg. (total 12mg) bcuz i had a terrible headache that just wouldn't quit. It never ending up going away totally and i suffered all day long. Imitrex DOES work for me, but it has to be a migraine or i will get really sick and throw up. And from experiencing h/a's since i was 16 and working for a neurologist for 5yrs, i'm pretty good at telling which kind of h/a i have now. And there are so many different ones that need seperate kinds of meds. Like yest. was a tension/sinus ha. So it was very hard to get rid of. But if i would have taken imitrex, it would have made things worse.
But i'm not gonna let yest. slip me up.......i'll be back to 8mg. today! I pray that i can take it since i have another bad h/a right now. A lot of it is hormonal and it being that time of month. So i just have to be patient.
The good thing is i work from home - for my Dad (who is a recovering addict) and he is also on sub. so he understands my chronic pain, since he passed down the lovely headache/migraine issue to me.
He will be on sub. forever. He's suffered for about 40yrs. and the poor guy just needs a break. LONG STORY...but in the end, he has been in constant pain for his entire life and if this helps than that's all that matters. I'd rather his last yrs. on earth be productive than miserable. Even though i know that sub. is addicting and addicts aren't considered "sober" when taking them, i have seen him lose way too much of his life to be upset with him taking it long term now. No one deserves that much pain. And only he can answer to God so i can't judge him bcuz of what he chooses.
Anyways, i've gone on wayyyyy too much here. Just wanted to respond and see how u were.
How much are u on right now? What dose were you on before and for how long????
I can't remember from the original thread bcuz there were so many people in it. Update me!
I will pray for you too sweetie and we'll help eachother thru this! :angel: