Hi C I just read your posts although I belong to another board "cancer" I won't spend a long time here but i have to tell you just a little of my story. Just the other day while moving around some furniture out fell a little blue pill its called halcion and had been my very beest friend for 10 years as a matter of fact I had a lot of "very best friends" and they all came dressed in pretty colors and fancy names such as xanxa, librium,paxil,elavil,serax, and oh so many more I was very popular not with my kids though but I didn't really mind that because me and my friends would sit down every night and have a few drinks to add a little relaxing mood to the hectic life i had to lead you know working etc and that was all interfearing with me and my "friends" oh and don'
t forget the smokes not drugs mind you "I would never do drugs" just cigarettes !!
I always felt that I as well needed these guys because "my brain" did not make me happy either. OH BOY was I in for a surprise!!
With going into more detail I just want you to know this I am a full time student,a grandmother and other than the cigs I am completely drug free and have been for 3 years now and yes I did it all on my own and I did it for me .
This is the happiest time in my life and I had to get to be 55 years old to find out my brain does make me happy and I can't believe when I go back over the years in my mind that I never knew who was living in my body. Youi can do what ever you want if you want it bad enough I am living proff of that . God bless you all. Oh yes I laughted when I found the little bill friend how often had I practically torn apart the house looking for these friends after a couple of days boozing to find my daughter had hidden them. Holy God what a mess of an existance that was and I am so happy to be where I am today with my book , my cat and a good cup of tea and of course my smokes that will be my next battle.

[This message has been edited by jerrikehoe (edited 06-04-2002).]

Here is an experiance that I don't think anyone wants to go through, my husband and I were on holiday in Florida and he had never agreed with any medication for depression or any other reason at the time I was on Halcion Xanax and something else I can't remember any way he figured he would get me off the stuff on his own so he flushed the whole thing without telling me let I was ok untill the third day and from than on it was a nightmare I think I drank for the next 2 weeks we were there. I am Canadian so I was a long way from home and my doctor, well I made it back home ok but the folling day I was admitted to hospital and I nearly died my children were told I may not pull through. Well here I am minus the husband and the pills but it wasn't that incident that stopped me I had another couple of years to go yet before I got off the stuff. Why I am telling you this is these drugs can cause what happened to me so for heavens sake don'
t think about going cold turkey on the stuff, if you want to you will do it the right way ....eventually... and the other thing is you might think other people don't know about your problem but the odds are a lot of people know and you only find out when you are clean. Good Luck to you and try and get some medical help to do this with because it could cost you your life and nothing is worth that, I know that from my own experiance God Bless you and keep you safe.