5 AM. Still haven't slept. Desperate. I don't know how anybody could detox and still have meds in the house. I'd have taken them all days ago...

pdoc even gave me something to sleep, non-addictive. Do the anxiety thing now, the sleeping part later. Felt like I was cheating or something, like with the melatonin + antihistamines last night that didn't work. Anyway, suffice it to say, the sleep aid did nothing.

The best thing I did for myself was to be selfish and cancel my family "vacation" which is anything but. I have a family member who must work for the halcion manufacturer or get a commission or something because if he senses you aren't sleeping, there he is with the halcion, let him talk me into it last time I had just gone through this nightmare and was back on the ambien and ativan within a few weeks. Because what's one pill, right?

Of course the grass is always greener, right, if I was back to the days of just hydro I could take some ativan or ambien to get through the detox. Oh, yeah, did that. Now am abuser of all three.

Thank you so much arememom. I have no idea what your screenname means but I'll take the mom part right now :).