lisa, i am glad you are ok, i didnt hear from you and i thought my last post may have offended you...i was worried about you..every nite i throw in a prayer to the big guy for you, i feel so bad when i read that your not well or things are becoming un-bearable for you..i miss talking to you..i am doing well i really have been ok even threw in a smile for a day or too..i guess i realized that i was not really happy before i was using and i took whatever to fill the void in me, it made it bearable, yes there is still something missing but i am really trying to find it..yesterday was a bad day in my head anyway i got really stressed at work disgusted, started getting the hives and began thinking again, i worked thru it and about 3 hours later i moved on, i guess just like any one who doesnt use drugs does...wow how do they do it??? 20 percs sounded good for a warm fuzzy, but i got thru it..i thought 20 then what? 20 more etc i cant even take 1 anything 1 halcion leads to 20 1 valium etc 1 vicodin anything if i put 1 in my body i start the hunt, and i dont want to go there..i glad you posted talk to you later happy friday