I don't really even know where to begin. I've struggled with depression my whole life. Had a breakdown which lead to a sucide attempt when I was 19. From the age of 18 - 23 or whenever I got pregnant I typically drank daily and smoked pot. After my child I was clean for a year then my divorced started and fell off the wagon last April. Since May I've either drank, smoked pot or snorted coke daily or every other day.

I am able to stop drinking with no problem other than being more emotional but I'm not sure I can stop with the drugs. I am on prozac and cytomel for depression and thyroid issues which seem to help with the depression some, yet I don't feel I can handle any life event being sober.

I am seeing a doctor but I really haven't found any relief. I know I shouldnt be using and I know I'm being completely irresponsible but I can't go a day without being high or buzzed. To be completely sober scares me and I don't ever want to feel that bad again.

So I guess what I'm trying to say and having trouble, i might add, could I be an addict?