Here is a typical day in the life of my anxiety-ridden life. I just felt like sharing...

1) Wake up wobbly, groggy and out-of-it from all the alcohol, drugs and anxiety the day before.

2) Take a long walk (or not)

3) Have my coffee at the computer while reading the news, email, getting work done, etc.

4) Pop a 1mg Lorazepam so I can "get through the day".

5) Do some house work.

6) Start drinking and smoking at about 1:00 while doing things at the computer and around the house.

7) Stop drinking and smoking after 6-8 beers and a pack of cigarettes.

8) Watch TV as I slip into this hangover/anxiety/depression mood-thing.

9) Pop an Atarax (for sleep) and sometimes a Xanax because if I don't, I usually end up waking up at 2-3 in the morning with LOTS of anxiety and panic and can't get back to sleep until hours later.

10) Finally, I lay there trying to go to sleep at about 10-11 o'clock and have all these weird sensations - anything from tingling in my hands to tremors in my neck or face and everything in between. Sometimes it feels like my heart has stopped beating and I have to open my eyes to make sure I'm still alive. Sometimes my heart races or I'll have a weird sensation followed by a rush of adrenilin going through me and lots of panicky feelings. Other times, it feels like the bed is moving underneath me or I'll feel really spacy. Finally, I get to sleep.

Rinse and repeat...

Ahhhh!!!