20th February 2008
I've got alot of health issues, and take alot of pills for them, but I'm getting worse, not better. I just seem to swap one reaction with another reaction. Sometimes I'm tempted to get off all of them and just start over.
I've got a thyroid issue I take Synthroid for.
I've got PCOS which has contributed to my weight. My bp is a bit high so I take Atacand for it. My cholesterol is bad so I take Lipitor for that.
I'm diabetic, type 2, so I take Januvia for my blood sugar.
I have OCD and ADD so I take 80mg Prozac. I've previously tried Welbutrin, Zoloft, and some I probably can't remember. Welbutrin made me tremmor so badly I couldn't pick anything up. Zoloft I felt great on, but the downside is that it gave me apathy after a while and that was no good. I don't know how I feel about Prozac yet. I've been on it at least a year. My dosage was doubled about 5 months ago.
I have chronic migraines so I used to take Topamax and Effexor but I stopped that about 8 months ago because I decided I'd rather be in occasional pain and take a pill for it, than be stupid, confused, and forgetful all the time. I had been on Topomax for around 3 years and it had worked very well. Still, I guess I made the right decision for that, not sure.
I have chronic insomnia. I had a sleep test and they said I have lowered oxygen saturation while I sleep, and only hit phase 1 and 2 (of 5 phases) which is non restorative. So now I wear that awful mask and I hate it. Tell me how a person is supposed to feel sexy or romantic looking at that in bed every night? I've tried melatonin, Lunesta, Roserem, and they all made me so zombie the next day that it defeats the purpose. Especially Roserem. If I take that I sleep for 2 days. So I told my doc I wish there was something that only worked for a couple of hours because it's usually 1am when you figure out that you have insomnia. So I tried Sonata which is a 4 hr and that actually works for me. But it's yet another pill.
Then they tried tackling my anxiety which interferes with sleep and my decision making. I was taking a half of a Clonazepam which was OK, but again it's another pill.
So now they're trying a half a Temazepam instead of the Clonazepam or Sonata. Sometimes I'm still awake until 5 or 6am after taking it before midnight. But when it does work, I don't wake up at all after I finally get to sleep. The first day I woke up after taking it, I had this incredible euphoria. But that hasn't happened again. Now it works about 50/50. I think my anxiety about whether I'll fall asleep and all the things I have to do the next day or should have done that day are interfering.
I don't go to work anymore. I sit in the house all day and sleep or watch TV. I feel doomed. No matter what I do I'm unhealthy. I can't do things because now I'm physically out of shape and exhausted. But in not doing things I make myself worse. I have no friends and I'm not proud of my relationships with my family. It took me a long time to admit I'm depressed which I did a couple months ago. At least my marriage is good and he's supportive and understanding.
I have 2 doc apts on Friday, medical and physchiatrist. One discussion is going to be whether I continue working. And my phsycologist I saw on Tues said she wants me to come see her weekly now, and be accoutable through email for certain stuff. In some ways I feel like there is so much going on that I need to focus on myself that I just need to check out for a while and concentrate on me, without the guilt of calling in sick all the time and worrying if I'll get fired. But I also know I can't just sit around the house every day forever or the depression will get worse. I wish I could just do the last 5 yrs of my life over. I hate taking all these pills!
Is it possible to clean out and just start over?
Do you think any of this is caused by the meds I'm on?
Did I make a bad decision on the Topamax?
I cried today and now my sinuses hurt and I have a headache. I'm such a wimp! Why can't I just shake it off like most people and keep on with my life?
I've got a thyroid issue I take Synthroid for.
I've got PCOS which has contributed to my weight. My bp is a bit high so I take Atacand for it. My cholesterol is bad so I take Lipitor for that.
I'm diabetic, type 2, so I take Januvia for my blood sugar.
I have OCD and ADD so I take 80mg Prozac. I've previously tried Welbutrin, Zoloft, and some I probably can't remember. Welbutrin made me tremmor so badly I couldn't pick anything up. Zoloft I felt great on, but the downside is that it gave me apathy after a while and that was no good. I don't know how I feel about Prozac yet. I've been on it at least a year. My dosage was doubled about 5 months ago.
I have chronic migraines so I used to take Topamax and Effexor but I stopped that about 8 months ago because I decided I'd rather be in occasional pain and take a pill for it, than be stupid, confused, and forgetful all the time. I had been on Topomax for around 3 years and it had worked very well. Still, I guess I made the right decision for that, not sure.
I have chronic insomnia. I had a sleep test and they said I have lowered oxygen saturation while I sleep, and only hit phase 1 and 2 (of 5 phases) which is non restorative. So now I wear that awful mask and I hate it. Tell me how a person is supposed to feel sexy or romantic looking at that in bed every night? I've tried melatonin, Lunesta, Roserem, and they all made me so zombie the next day that it defeats the purpose. Especially Roserem. If I take that I sleep for 2 days. So I told my doc I wish there was something that only worked for a couple of hours because it's usually 1am when you figure out that you have insomnia. So I tried Sonata which is a 4 hr and that actually works for me. But it's yet another pill.
Then they tried tackling my anxiety which interferes with sleep and my decision making. I was taking a half of a Clonazepam which was OK, but again it's another pill.
So now they're trying a half a Temazepam instead of the Clonazepam or Sonata. Sometimes I'm still awake until 5 or 6am after taking it before midnight. But when it does work, I don't wake up at all after I finally get to sleep. The first day I woke up after taking it, I had this incredible euphoria. But that hasn't happened again. Now it works about 50/50. I think my anxiety about whether I'll fall asleep and all the things I have to do the next day or should have done that day are interfering.
I don't go to work anymore. I sit in the house all day and sleep or watch TV. I feel doomed. No matter what I do I'm unhealthy. I can't do things because now I'm physically out of shape and exhausted. But in not doing things I make myself worse. I have no friends and I'm not proud of my relationships with my family. It took me a long time to admit I'm depressed which I did a couple months ago. At least my marriage is good and he's supportive and understanding.
I have 2 doc apts on Friday, medical and physchiatrist. One discussion is going to be whether I continue working. And my phsycologist I saw on Tues said she wants me to come see her weekly now, and be accoutable through email for certain stuff. In some ways I feel like there is so much going on that I need to focus on myself that I just need to check out for a while and concentrate on me, without the guilt of calling in sick all the time and worrying if I'll get fired. But I also know I can't just sit around the house every day forever or the depression will get worse. I wish I could just do the last 5 yrs of my life over. I hate taking all these pills!
Is it possible to clean out and just start over?
Do you think any of this is caused by the meds I'm on?
Did I make a bad decision on the Topamax?
I cried today and now my sinuses hurt and I have a headache. I'm such a wimp! Why can't I just shake it off like most people and keep on with my life?