11th July 2008
Thank you Martha. You said exactly what I was feeling. A few weeks back Mom and Dad went to my niece's baby shower at sister 2's house. Sister 2 was very careful to remove anything that came from Mom's house and to hide the van in the back of a closed out building. This was not done at Christmas or July 4th at another sister's house. I am sure it was an oversight and they did not expect this reaction from Mom. I do agree that outting should be somewhere other than places that remind her of home and her things.
Mom is aware enough to complain because she "never" goes to my sister's houses that are in the same town she is in. Mom also rants continually about "going back home". Sometimes it is just for a visit to friends, to go to one of her doctors, to pick out a coffin, or any other excuse she can find. Other times it is to go home and live. I truly believe that it is not good for her to have any reminders or excuses for an outburst.
Sister 4 knew the chlorox was prohibited. "It's easier to ask forgiveness than to get permission" and "you know Mom and her Chlorox" were her two comments. This has been an issue several times including ruined clothes. When I was there I purchased Chlorox II which is not as caustic as Chlorox and before I arrived back home Chlorox was back in the facility. They had already taken it away from Mom once before. I do like you idea of putting water in the Chlorox bottle but they can't even have a bottle labeled as Chlorox because the facility is unable to determine which is real and which is a fake. I say... it should never brought it in the building in the first place. Do away with it and in time Mom will forget about it. Then it will not longer be an issue. If it is a problem with taking Mom to the grocery store and her insisting she needs it.... then don't take her to the grocery store. Yes, my sister tends to give in. She says she gets it but then lets Mom make decisions that she is not capable of making, like going home or the chlorox.
I am with you on the medication Chris, but they tend to medicate Dad instead of Mom because she stirs, he reacts, the power that be see his reaction (which is inappropriate) and not what started it (Mom). Then Mom has all these excuses for her illogical reactions. My next question is.... why is Mom's ativan PRN and Dad's is not. Mom is the one that needs it.
Is it wrong for me to wish for those few more steps to move quickly Martha? This situation is wearing on me and my sisters. I can not imagine the turmoil it is putting Dad through and it is even worse for my Mom. I am close to requesting her Aricept and Namenda be ceased. I truly believe it is unfair to Mom to keep her at this stage any longer than necessary. I can only imagine the torment she is experiencing.
Mom has not answered the phone today so I don't have a clue what her mood is today. I did talk to sister 3 who had a thyroid biopsy yesterday, she is doing well and will know the results next week, and she had not talked to Mom and I talked to sister 2. I have a call in to sister 4 to see what she knows and I am still trying to reach Mom. I do hate being so far away ::sigh::
Love, deb
PS.... Was.... We did the clean out the house weekend without Mom being there and I still agree that is the best. She was aware enough to know it was her vase at Sister 3's house and her rant initiated with the fact that we were stealing her stuff without her permission. Sister 2 and I follow rule #2. Sister 3 didn't think about it because that vase has been at her house since November. Mom saw it in December and didn't respond to that but to the Christmas table cloth so I guess she thought she was safe with that one. I totally agree with rule #3. She NEVER needs to be in their house again.
The problem is that Mom has these melt down frequently. The reasons they start vary and if there is not a good reason then she makes up one. I can't blame what we are doing because we are all doing the best we can with an angry irrational lady who seems to need to melt down. ::shrug::
Mom is aware enough to complain because she "never" goes to my sister's houses that are in the same town she is in. Mom also rants continually about "going back home". Sometimes it is just for a visit to friends, to go to one of her doctors, to pick out a coffin, or any other excuse she can find. Other times it is to go home and live. I truly believe that it is not good for her to have any reminders or excuses for an outburst.
Sister 4 knew the chlorox was prohibited. "It's easier to ask forgiveness than to get permission" and "you know Mom and her Chlorox" were her two comments. This has been an issue several times including ruined clothes. When I was there I purchased Chlorox II which is not as caustic as Chlorox and before I arrived back home Chlorox was back in the facility. They had already taken it away from Mom once before. I do like you idea of putting water in the Chlorox bottle but they can't even have a bottle labeled as Chlorox because the facility is unable to determine which is real and which is a fake. I say... it should never brought it in the building in the first place. Do away with it and in time Mom will forget about it. Then it will not longer be an issue. If it is a problem with taking Mom to the grocery store and her insisting she needs it.... then don't take her to the grocery store. Yes, my sister tends to give in. She says she gets it but then lets Mom make decisions that she is not capable of making, like going home or the chlorox.
I am with you on the medication Chris, but they tend to medicate Dad instead of Mom because she stirs, he reacts, the power that be see his reaction (which is inappropriate) and not what started it (Mom). Then Mom has all these excuses for her illogical reactions. My next question is.... why is Mom's ativan PRN and Dad's is not. Mom is the one that needs it.
Is it wrong for me to wish for those few more steps to move quickly Martha? This situation is wearing on me and my sisters. I can not imagine the turmoil it is putting Dad through and it is even worse for my Mom. I am close to requesting her Aricept and Namenda be ceased. I truly believe it is unfair to Mom to keep her at this stage any longer than necessary. I can only imagine the torment she is experiencing.
Mom has not answered the phone today so I don't have a clue what her mood is today. I did talk to sister 3 who had a thyroid biopsy yesterday, she is doing well and will know the results next week, and she had not talked to Mom and I talked to sister 2. I have a call in to sister 4 to see what she knows and I am still trying to reach Mom. I do hate being so far away ::sigh::
Love, deb
PS.... Was.... We did the clean out the house weekend without Mom being there and I still agree that is the best. She was aware enough to know it was her vase at Sister 3's house and her rant initiated with the fact that we were stealing her stuff without her permission. Sister 2 and I follow rule #2. Sister 3 didn't think about it because that vase has been at her house since November. Mom saw it in December and didn't respond to that but to the Christmas table cloth so I guess she thought she was safe with that one. I totally agree with rule #3. She NEVER needs to be in their house again.
The problem is that Mom has these melt down frequently. The reasons they start vary and if there is not a good reason then she makes up one. I can't blame what we are doing because we are all doing the best we can with an angry irrational lady who seems to need to melt down. ::shrug::