She signed a power of attorney two years ago to a counsin who has control now of her Social Security check. My mother had a bank account of $12,000 which is gone now. She has no life insurance so she was saving the money for burial. I visit her twice a year in Pa., I live in FL, and it costs me over $1,000 each time I go. In Oct I saw that she lost weight had no money and no food. Her refrigerator was bare as well as cabinets. I went right out and filled her freezer, cabinets, etc. My mother has no bank book showing where her SS checks gets deposited. I called SS and asked them with my mother's permission and they couldn't tell me over the phone. I asked them to change direct deposit and mail check to my mother. The cousin took her right to the bank and had it changed back into her name. She told my mother to give me a message "if you interfer in our business again I'll have you arrested." I couldn't beleive it so I backed off. I sent my mother a christmas present and she didn't even send me a card. I never had a close relationship with her since she gave me to my father's mother when I was born. She never acted like she had any love for me but I always hoped maybe things would change.

I have two brothers, one doesn't speak to anyone in the family. I don't know why. My other brother has been supported by my mother for most of his adult life. He is in Mississipi. He is totally dysfunctional and an alcoholic but was able to serve a year in the Iraq war. He's another story so I don't want to get into that. He called me on Sunday and said Mom called his ex-wife 11 pm Saturday night looking for him. He's been divorced for 20 years. She thinks my brother spent Saturday with her and that he left telling her he would be back. He was never there! I didn't see this problem when I visited her last time. I called her and she told me the same story that Michael was there yesterday and she doesn't know where he went because he didn't return. She did say he called and said he was in Mississippi so she did understand and remember this fact but she still firmly believes that he was in PA on Sat. My daugher was here and talked to her on the phone. We found out that she's on Aricept and an antidepressant. I looked up Aricept and it causes delusions (common side affect). I can't talk to her doctor because of privacy. I don't know what to do to intervene. It seems like I have no rights now because she signed that power of attorney two years ago. which I have never actually seen. She told me the cousin made her pay for it when she signed it $400. I feel sorry for my mother and angry that someone can get away with stealing someone's money. I called a number on the internet for a State Agency that can intervene. However, they told me they can't tell me anything. I called two years ago and never heard back. How can something like this happen? People tell me to forget it since my mother never cared for me. How can I do that? Can anyone offer any suggestions. I don't have time or money to fight a long distance court battle. I would be happy to see the State take guardianship and arrange for her to receive care but right now I don't think they will do anything to help her. They will probably go there and talk to her for 5 minutes then write a report that says everything appears okay. I am praying that God will send me the answer and the right thing to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Maybe someone else went through this and know the answer.

Lucy

[COLOR="Navy"]Deb gave you good advice. Your mom sounds like she is getting to the point where she is not going to be able to live alone much longer. Aricept is given to help keep an alzheimer patient at the level they are currently at, to maintain their cognizent level. The delusions that your mom is having are probably caused by the disease,not by the medicine. It is very common for these folks to swear that they have had visitors or phone calls from folks who haven't been to visit them for months or years.

If is it possible you need to have someone check into your mom's living conditions. She may be to the point where she is going to need assisted living before long. It sounds like it isn't far off for her.

good luck, my heart is hurting for you and her...

I will also say that Gemini was not being critical of you but letting you know the questions that you will hear in the future if you persue over turning your cousin's current authority. She brought up legitimate questions based on the facts that you presented. Please use the information in the way it was intended and not be upset with Gemini for being forthcoming and asking the hard questions.

You are right about Social Security. They have their own system of guardianship that is different from the durable power of attorney. That involves a completely different set of paperwork. So you have two battle fronts at this point. The durable power of attorney and the social security guardianship.

Now as for moving your Mom to Florida. Evidently there is a diagnosis of dementia if your Mom is on Aricept. If she does have dementia she may not be able to make a good decision for herself. Expect different answers at different times. She will not remember what she told you the last time. That raises of issue of her being competent to make her own decisions. What she wants may not be recognized by authorities because of her diagnosis. Then you have the problem of the social security guardianship and power of attorney. You may get her to come but not the money or the power to make decisions for her. If your cousin has guardianship then she can come get your Mom because it is her responsibility to do what she thinks is best for your Mom. She may not be doing this but that is for you to prove.

So take Gemini's question as just a small taste of what you are in for. That is what she intended. The authorities will ask you all of these question and many that have not been thought of yet. Your cousin will pick up on these and put you in the worst light possible if you try to override her. Your intentions may be the best but you are in for a difficult fight and have to grow some leather tough skin to deal with it because the accusation will be thrown your way.

If you decide to continue with the fight you need some way to get documented evidence of abust or neglect on the part of your cousin. That includes the mentioned pictures, witnesses, and any medical information you can get your hands on (which will be difficult with the current privacy laws). You will need a lawyer and since you are not close probably an investigator to get the proof you need.

Good luck......

Love, deb