From the symptoms you describe it appears that your Mom could be suffering from some form of demetia. It could also be caused by other medication condition that are reversible. That is why you need a diagnosis. You need to check out all other possible causes before you decided it is dementia. Even if she thinks she is fine (which is common with dementia) you do need to have her diagnosed by a physician. Sometimes we have to do for our loved ones what is needed rather than what they want.

Does she keep her check register or just write checks? Does she still cook and does she burn pots? Are things put away in inappropriate places? Have strange things happened that you question the explinations? Is she still driving and are there unexplained dings on the car? Does she get aggitated easily for reasons that don't fit the level of aggitation? Does she preceive things happening that never happened? Has her personal hygeine suffered? Does she repeatedly buy some items and forget to buy necessities?

These are just a few of the things that can happen. My mom was in the process of giving $250,000 to a b rated insurance salesman that she met at a restaurant. She bragged about what she was doing which tipped me off and I was able to stop it. Cashing out her 401K and some long term stocks would have cost more in capital gains, penalties, and fees then she would have made in 15 years. She was an accountant/bookkeeper all of her life and had no idea how to balance her check book. Cash disappeared, bills were paid sometimes late and sometimes twice, no financial records were kept, and important papers were thown out while she kept random newspaper clippings. There were 5 teeth whitening kits in her bathroom but no kleenex. Her shopping sprees were frequent and expensive and she never had the things she needed. She transformed from a very healthy eater to eating only sweets. Pots disappeared only to be found in strange places with the residue of burned food in the bottom. Medication was taken at the wrong time, sometimes double dosed, sometimes not at all, and sometimes Mom and Dad took either other's meds. Mom confused hydrocodone for an antiviral. I knew something was wrong and I arrived home to find her completely out of it. She gave Dad an overdose of Xanax thta landed him in the hospital. She broke her arm and we never figured out exactly how it happened. She went to get her hair done, lost her keys while at the beauty shop, had somebody bring her home, and then walked the miles back to get the car with Dad's keys. The keys were in her pocketbook. Mood changes, bizzare behavior, unexplained aggitation to the point of aggression, withdrawing, and temper tantrums became the rule rather than the exception. This was all before she was diagnosed. Afterwards it got even worse until Mom and Dad (who has had vascular dementia for about 8 years) ended up in Assisted Living because it was truly unsafe for them to live alone.

So this is just the beginning for you and you will need help dealing with her. Aricept and Namenda are medication that do not cure the illness but are thought to slow down the process. Behavioral changes can be managed with medication. It is imperative that somebody have a power of attorney for your Mom because she will become unable to handle her own affairs. Eventually she will need more help than you can give her.

All this time she will assure you that she is fine and there is nothing wrong with her. The rest of the world has gone crazy around her. She does not remember things that happen or what she does. She takes what little does register in her mind and comes up with her own reality. Her ability to process information is scewed. Her ability to control her impulses and act in an appropriate manner are deminishing. She believes her reality and had no idea why you don't. It makes for a danger situation for her.

I will say again, please get her to a doctor and get a true diagnosis. Hopefully it is something that can be treated medically and not dementia. If it is dementia you are going to need medical assistance.

I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers....

Love, deb

Excellent idea! Tell her she is in danger of losing her coverage if she doesn't get a ''routine exam".

But remember, these patients are experts at fooling a stranger, especially a doctor. My Mom had a strategy that was brilliant (as has been said, their memory is gone but not their intelligence!). At the doctor's office she began by asking him how HE feels. Then she started complimenting him on the decor in his office. Such statement as "the red in the wallpaper really picks up on the dark maroon of the carpet". He was so impressed, (partly with his own good taste!) that he 'forgot' or didn't bother to ask her what day it was, etc.

Only when he was not on duty one day and his son, a much younger and up to date physician, was seeing his patients, was Mom asked the questions .. oh boy! She got virtually everything wrong, the date, the month, the season, the president, how many childlren she had, etc. This doctor told my brother privately after sending Mom to the waiting room "your mother has dementia, and the best place for her is in a good nursing home.' My brother and I were enormously relieved because we had know for ages that she was 'off', but her long time family doctor only laughed at the 'funny' stories of her getting lost, putting her dirty underwear back in the dresser, etc.

Then she was put on Aricept. TOO late!
Then they tried Namenda. Too late.

She fooled her doctor for years.

Love,

Martha