29th August 2007
Hi - I've been reading your posts for a few weeks. I have posted before on other boards (I'm disabled with several diseases of my own). My mom has Alzheimers & fell last Wed and was finally able to be placed in a nursing home on Monday.
Her dr had previously acted like I was the one with the problem, just because she had lost a lot of her ability to communicate, dr still thought she could live at home (ALONE!). I have been trying to get her into a safer situation since last spring, but all the nursing home & assisted living facilities defer to the dr & my mom would not agree to change drs.
Now that I have her in a home, a really nice one, where she is being cared for properly. (FYI- I was not able to take her to my home, she refused to go, could not just leave my husband & family to move in with her.) I feel much better to know she is getting professional care, BUT all the staff keep saying the same things - once she completes their 'rehab' program, she will be going home. I do not want her to live alone again, and she likes this place & does not want to go home. She has long-term care ins that will pay 1st yr & enough assets & investments to be private pay the rest of her life.
Why do these people keep insisting she will go home again, when I know she will not? I've been through this disease with my grandmother & great aunt and I know the progress.
Also, she chose several months ago that she did not want to take the Exeleon or Aricept - did not like the side affects. The staff told me these are standard, and that I cannot refuse them at this stage. She has a living will that states 'no nutrititon, hydration, DNR, and no prolonging of an end of life state'. Well, this disease is eventually terminal, so why can't I choose to honor her wishes (believe me, she has been very plain for years about how she feels regarding this type of situation). The staff however, keeps referring to her stay as 'rehab' and says I cannot refuse these drugs. Anyone ever run into this? I feel so alone (I am her only living blood relative), and I'm hoping someone here can shed some light on these issues. Am I unkind to want to be honest about her stay? Are they planning on kicking her out after 'rehabing' her? Am I wrong about the drugs?
Help - any info or opinion would be welcome.
Her dr had previously acted like I was the one with the problem, just because she had lost a lot of her ability to communicate, dr still thought she could live at home (ALONE!). I have been trying to get her into a safer situation since last spring, but all the nursing home & assisted living facilities defer to the dr & my mom would not agree to change drs.
Now that I have her in a home, a really nice one, where she is being cared for properly. (FYI- I was not able to take her to my home, she refused to go, could not just leave my husband & family to move in with her.) I feel much better to know she is getting professional care, BUT all the staff keep saying the same things - once she completes their 'rehab' program, she will be going home. I do not want her to live alone again, and she likes this place & does not want to go home. She has long-term care ins that will pay 1st yr & enough assets & investments to be private pay the rest of her life.
Why do these people keep insisting she will go home again, when I know she will not? I've been through this disease with my grandmother & great aunt and I know the progress.
Also, she chose several months ago that she did not want to take the Exeleon or Aricept - did not like the side affects. The staff told me these are standard, and that I cannot refuse them at this stage. She has a living will that states 'no nutrititon, hydration, DNR, and no prolonging of an end of life state'. Well, this disease is eventually terminal, so why can't I choose to honor her wishes (believe me, she has been very plain for years about how she feels regarding this type of situation). The staff however, keeps referring to her stay as 'rehab' and says I cannot refuse these drugs. Anyone ever run into this? I feel so alone (I am her only living blood relative), and I'm hoping someone here can shed some light on these issues. Am I unkind to want to be honest about her stay? Are they planning on kicking her out after 'rehabing' her? Am I wrong about the drugs?
Help - any info or opinion would be welcome.