16th March 2004
I experience exactly the same thing. Letting deadlines pass is quite often what happens: I know that they will pass if I do nothing, but somehow there is enormous inertia.
For me, at least, I think the problem is related to memory. In order to get many of these tasks done, you need to expend a great deal of effort recollecting and collecting information, sorting out the information, and prioritizing the information. I once took aricept (used to help Alzehimer's patients to retain some memory) and it was amazing how much it helped me with piano playing - for the first time in my life I could read music and remember where my fingers were on the keyboard. Normally, if I look at the sheet music, I forget where my fingers were on the keyboard, then I look at the keyboard and forget the notes that I just read - so I could never play well. Practicing made it worse and more confusing. I couln't keep taking it because it made me very aggressive and irritable.
But I think now that for 'normal' people, many of these tasks are not so paralysing because they can recall most information they need to get started and organized without much effort. I can't, moreover, I can't remember where to start looking to find the things that I can't remember/forgot. So, just in order to begin, I have to figure out a lot of extra things. It is this sense of being confronted with an overwhelming task that makes me feel so paralyzed. Tasks that seem easier to start, because one knows where to start and what to start with, are easier to cope with and do not create paralysis to the same extent.
I do not know what helps. Perhaps knowing that there will be some initial period of finding stuff and organizing stuff and "getting up to speed" (no pun intended) because of ADD may be useful. At least one can then 'budget' time-wise and energy-wise for this and that may make it easier to get started. Expecting the task to be completed in the same time period as someone else may take exacerbates the problem: one realizes that the problem is not all that difficult (for 'normal' people) yet for oneself it seems to take much extra effort - this is very demoralizing! Knowing that it will be different and budgeting for the difference may help (after all, we get payback with those things that we do faster and better than'normal' people).
Let us know if you can figure out a good way to deal with this!
mandevu
For me, at least, I think the problem is related to memory. In order to get many of these tasks done, you need to expend a great deal of effort recollecting and collecting information, sorting out the information, and prioritizing the information. I once took aricept (used to help Alzehimer's patients to retain some memory) and it was amazing how much it helped me with piano playing - for the first time in my life I could read music and remember where my fingers were on the keyboard. Normally, if I look at the sheet music, I forget where my fingers were on the keyboard, then I look at the keyboard and forget the notes that I just read - so I could never play well. Practicing made it worse and more confusing. I couln't keep taking it because it made me very aggressive and irritable.
But I think now that for 'normal' people, many of these tasks are not so paralysing because they can recall most information they need to get started and organized without much effort. I can't, moreover, I can't remember where to start looking to find the things that I can't remember/forgot. So, just in order to begin, I have to figure out a lot of extra things. It is this sense of being confronted with an overwhelming task that makes me feel so paralyzed. Tasks that seem easier to start, because one knows where to start and what to start with, are easier to cope with and do not create paralysis to the same extent.
I do not know what helps. Perhaps knowing that there will be some initial period of finding stuff and organizing stuff and "getting up to speed" (no pun intended) because of ADD may be useful. At least one can then 'budget' time-wise and energy-wise for this and that may make it easier to get started. Expecting the task to be completed in the same time period as someone else may take exacerbates the problem: one realizes that the problem is not all that difficult (for 'normal' people) yet for oneself it seems to take much extra effort - this is very demoralizing! Knowing that it will be different and budgeting for the difference may help (after all, we get payback with those things that we do faster and better than'normal' people).
Let us know if you can figure out a good way to deal with this!
mandevu