you have to really want to get clean for you to have any chance of a lasting sobriety; I mean really really want it, more than you want to get high, until then you will continue to battle periods of using and period of been clean; hopefully for you the periods of been clean will start to become longer.

St Johns Wort is a nature way to treat depression is you can get it from a health food shop and the Amitriptyline at 10mg to 25mg is a very effective sleep aid. It will leave you with a nasty dry mouth. At 150mg it becomes an Antidepressant but you really shouldn't self medicate to that level without seeing a doctor as you might not be a good candidate to use that drug up to that level.

I wish you the best in finding the strength to stay clean and sober; I'm sure that you will find NA and AA out there in Thailand if you wanted to try that route. That's what worked for me and I recently got my 5 year sober chip; life really can better in such a special way that we can't appreciate when we're in the haze of using, so I ask that you trust people like me and give yourself a chance; your worth it!