just got back from both my doctors today..first thing.......
cram....what is the Q word?....second,i dont know what you mean by pot holder,just asssume he still hasnt come to his senses nor speakin to the lord on straighten his crap out....he musty be usin it to hold something hot and if thats the case hes either smokin crack/opium/pot or ice/methephetamine..drug test him if you wish to put your mind at ease......

thank you from the bottom of my heart for your guys thoughts and prayers...i dont have too many friends,and you guys seem closer to me than ever.....

my doctor friend,doug,who runs a huge rehab center and is a recovering opiate addicts himself,shared his 8 year anniversary a couple weeks back...i saw him today at 11:00...he took me off the subutex and put me on oxycodone for breakthru pain and back on small quantity of methadone until after surgery...then we will re-wean,back to subutex and see where the future takes me...i really do hate taking the opiates but it is under a controlled situation and the pain i have in my right arm bicep area is unbelievable...it has to be the most severe pain i ever had and wish it would leave now...the pain im in across my chest along with the pressure(feels like someone has tied a belt around my chest and are tightening it,click by click)...well that pain is associated with my copd/lungs/infection and mass,but they said also its wrap around pain from my spine...its tolerable,around a solid seven on a scale from 0-10...and then daily i have my lower back pain at my l5 disc thats been there since 1990...when i got hit by a golf cart that was backing up and the bqt waiter driving it didnt know how to drive it properly....a day after the accident,the human resources lady showed up at my house and had me sign some papers...didnt know then but that pc of paper resolved them from any further action by me...i was young anmd didnt know any better...so since then ive had a blown out lower back and thats how the whole opiate thing got started...change of subject...i was so darn happy the other day...sat.nov 11 was my birthday and last year my girls didnt call me...they are 12 and 15...this year my ex had them call and my ex brought out my youngest to see me on sunday....from my heart i cried so bad as they drove away...see how drugs destroy lifes and it starts off so innocencly...the devil is truly evil...but god showed his grace on me by bringing shelby out to see me...it was nice to see my ex too...she cant find it in her heart to forgive me...i asked for forgiveness again when shelby went to the bathroom,but my ex is still so bitter...i did not want a divorce...the bible says so....i still care for them tremendously...i was sad a bit though cause chelsea,my 15 yr old didnjt come out...i live 45 min from them....my drivers license gets reinstated dec 8th....yahoo....hard to breath and i had to return the breathing machine but i have my albuterol inhaler....my doc said that the discs in my neck that are causing the pain look like stalgtites going sideways into my spine...oesteoites i think they are callede...type of bone spur....for you smokers out there,if you could jump into my lungs and chest right now i think youd say to yourself its time to quit smokin..god created us in his image and our bodies are suppose to be his temple...goin home to try to relax for a bit..........thank you to everyone for being here for me...it comes from my heart quite sincerely.....love chef