Dude (I call everyone that), injuried nine years ago at work...three months later surgery for ruptured disk L5s1...year later another surgeon looks at same MRI taken only months after first surgery (which the first surgeon looked at and said nothing wrong...of course, that was reported to the insurance company)..anyway, the second surgeon says I need double fusion (I don't know a thing about disks and fusion at this time)..I look at the MRI and all I can see is that, ok, I guess--will it stop the increasing pain (later foot paralysis)? Will I go paralyzed with this surgery? No. Ok. Are you sure? Figured surfing daze over. Sold boards. Dude who bought them has friend who writes me letter saying he had same surgery and not to worry I'd surf again. Then I ask the surgeon if ADRs are coming soon (said no such thing)..b.s...they were right around the corner only three cities over...much closer then the surgeon who told me no such thing. (Years later,actually last year, one of the first persons to have it installed by the doc near me, called me because he had heard my story through the lady who delievers the mail..tells me everything is great.) I have the double fusion back surgery in 1999 (mid to late). Oh man, the pain of that surgery. Anyway, bladder problems began around then. Just though it was the meds at first or something else. Then the double fusion neck surgery. Three years of pain-in-da-neck (downer "ha") finally lead to that surgery. I sat there in the hospital early that morning of 2000 and said to friend lets just leave and get pizza. Should have had listened to my heart. Surgery screwed me up. Never been the same since. Massive neck/head/eye-poppin' out ever week since--in and out of ERs where they treat ya like crap. Later in 2000 experiemental surgery on back of neck to try to stop headaches. Didn't work. 2001, my back is ripped open again--not fully fused (of course of was told it was--Like my pain managment doc yelled at me recently--pissed off at another letter again speaking upon the paralysis and other problems that I have learned recent daze CES stuff--' "MRIs don't lie!" B.S. (I could cite too many examples of this not being true so yer just gonna have to believe me--or not). Years pass by in pain and many meds. Up to 10 Actiq a day (sometimes 14)...rehad after nine years. Back up. years ago, first time I peed myself, went to this doc and was yelled at again--I mean really yelled at. He told me to come to his office. I did. He starts yelling at me. First thing out of his mouth was "what are you doing here?" Yikes. Told to give up. Told I'm nothing but a number. Soon after I took MRIs to one of these places that use machines to "push" disks back in. I couldn't use the technology because all ready fused. But the retired-surgeon there via his partern told me I'm a mess and better get help quick. That is where I heard the term "CES"--yet thought it only meant I was losing use of bladder. Went back to surgeon and pain management doc--told me "no". Anyway years passed...Now I'm in rehad (Feb '07)...have peed myself seven times all ready. Paralysis of legs off and on (arms too). Saddle pain, etc, etc, etc (now lets sing a song with the King--catch the allusion?) Out of rehad. Have spent last three months in bed or at docs. Or here. My dad (after nine years of not really believeing me--and years (one year here, two years there, then another two years) of not talking to each other (hell on earth). Still have massive headaches (no real meds. they refused to give me meds now--oh, opioids--since rehad..of course that is not what I was told. Anyway.) It's amazing how important letters and documents proving this and that just disappear from docs file. So here I am now learning just how bad this CES is. Realizing I missed my open window--if there ever was one. The only open window I know of that is a'waitin' me is in the caffeinated vanilla skyscrapers in some big city somewhere near. This story is full of holes. So much more insanity. Straight A student in college at one time. Oh well. Yep, if was an Existensialist, would have laid myself across the tracks awaiting that slow train coming sweating blood. Now to go call another surgeon. Aloha. Life is not a beach. But being on yer board in the warm Pacific at sunset is a close to escaping the hell on earth into the Heaven of another dimention for a moment. Those moments long past.